What The End Looks Like | ✓

35: dean

"I'm sorry. I don't think this is going to work," I say, grabbing Boo's leash and holding on tightly.

The potential adopter looks at me in shock, "Was it something I said?"

I look at Boo who is laying on the ground right next to my feet. He's awake, but Boo hasn't been himself. He's been like this since she died. "No, I'm sorry. It wasn't anything you said, but I don't think this is going to work." I thought I could do this. Give him to someone else, but I can't leave him. That's how Boo is going to see it.

"O-Okay then? Um, it was nice meeting you." She says and I force a smile on my face. It feels like I've been doing that a lot lately.

"You as well. Good luck finding a dog."

Just not this dog.

My leather jacket is pulled tightly around me with a late spring chill in the air. Boo walks slowly next to me as we walk to a different area of the park before sitting down on a different bench.

Boo looks at me with his big eyes and I swear if he could talk, he'd be thanking me for not letting him go home with that girl. I rub right behind his ear, "You miss her too, don't you?"

I feel silly for a moment, talking to a dog. Except then he whines and nudges my hand when it stops scratching. I chuckle softly and lean back on the bench, watching the clouds in the sky.

"Boo, how did we get here?" I muse sadly. It doesn't feel real. Unfortunately, it is. God I could really use a drink right now. But I promised Lacey I wouldn't.

She fought the morphine. She really really didn't want it. Lacey tried her best to fight her mom, but in the end she accepted it. Her words were slowing and she was struggling to sit up, even propped by her pillows.

"Have I told you how beautiful you are," I say, trying to cheer her up. I just want to see her smile again.

Lacey coughs into her hand, weakly smiling at me. "You're so full of shit."

I take her hand and press my lips to the back of it, "Are you calling me a liar?"

"Dean."

No, I don't want to hear whatever last declaration she has. Boo is laying on the bed, draped over her feet. He won't leave her unless you use a stern voice and pull him by a leash.

"Dean," She says a little louder and I notice her breathing hitch as I finally look away from Boo to see how exhausted she is. "I need to talk to you about a few things."

Lacey's words are breathy and I nod, holding on tightly to her hand. "Okay."

"Promise. Promise me that you won't fall apart. That you won't let this define your actions," She has to stop to take a few shallow breaths before continuing. "You feel everything so strongly that I need to know you're going to be okay. Don't drink either. You'll want to, but you can't. Grab some water instead."

"Lace...we don't have to do this. Save your energy."

She's stubborn. Maybe more stubborn than I am. "No. I need to say this before I can't. I already talked to Ruth and my parents. You're the one I'm worried about."

"When have I ever given you any reason to worry?" I joke, causing Lacey to let out a horrible sound, resembling a mixture of a laugh and a gasp for air.

"Paige, the gala, Maddox and Paige to name a few things," She says hoarsely.

I chuckle, "Okay, fair enough. I don't need you to worry about me. I'll be okay."