You and Jake walked over to Terry's desk.
"So, Holt's coming on our stakeout now? I made a mixtape with very explicit rap on it and now I can't sing along" Jake said.
"You made a mixtape?" you said in surprise, also slightly annoyed that he didn't ask you about the mixtape first.
"Yes, I still listen to cassettes" Jake said. "This guy is all over me and y/n!"
"I mean, a captain on a minor vandalism case?" It's insane" you said.
"What's insane is how you, Jake, refuse to get on with the program. There is a new sheriff in town, Jake" Terry said.
"Well, I liked the old sheriff. McGintley wouldn't care about a messy desk or all these stupid rules" Jake complained.
You flashed back to the time when you and Jake used a taser on a cantalope. McGintley didn't even care. You just used the excuse that it was a science experiment. You also caused a fire on one of the computers and caused a power cut, but oh well.
"And McGintley wouldn't care if anyone was three minutes late 'cause he was always an hour late and hungover and he would let you do literally anything you want if you gave him a hamburger" you said indignantly.
"He let you play your mixtape?" Terry asked Jake.
"Okay. That's very funny" Jake said, walking away.
"Get an iPod, man ... Mixtape?" Terry said.
-----------------
From the window of Terry's minivan, you could see Jake walking towards the van, with Holt in the front and you sat between the two baby carriers in the back, leaving the front seat for Jake to sit in.
"You guys left without me" Jake said.
"You were late again" Holt said.
"I had to put on my undercover minivan disguise" Jake said, gesturing to his outfit. "Say hello to Harvey Norgenbloom, CPA, recently divorced father of two with a dark sexual secret."
"Hello Harvey" you said from the back seat, squashed between the baby carriers.
"What's your cover?" Jake asked Holt and you.
"I'm the friend of Harvey Norgenbloom" you said, trying not to laugh at the ridiculous surname Jake had chosen.
"Angry captain" Holt said.
"Okay, so you do not like my ensemble" Jake said.
"I'm just concerned you may find it hard to pursue a criminal on foot while wearing man sandals" Holt said, his expression serious.
"But the sandals define Harvey. He's a sandals guy" Jake protested.
From the backseat, you sighed. "Captain, why the babysitting?"
"Why the micromanaging?" Jake asked.
"You think I wanna be sitting here with you two instead of running my precinct?" Holt asked.
"Yes" Jake answered. You rolled your eyes at the detective.
"It was a rhetorical question" Holt said. "I've spent the last twelve years fighting for my first command and I'm not gonna let you screw it up because you refuse to take your job seriously, Peralta."
"Hey, I do take my job very seriously" Jake said. "I put away bad guys. That's what matters."
"Well, so does doing your paperwork, showing up on time and wearing proper footwear" Holt said.
"That's on Harvey, not me" Jake said.
"Well, here's the deal. You're gonna have a superior officer babysitting you on every single one of your cases. Including l/n because she has already proved herself to be more trustworthy than you. And when you show me you can do your job, every part of your job, perfectly, then I'll back off." Holt said severely.
"Okay, counteroffer: I give you fifty bucks and you let me do whatever I want" Jake offered. "Fine. We'll do it your way. From this point on, I'll do every part of the job perfectly, perfecter than perfectly. I'll even do it better than y/n's paperwork is done."
You raised your eyebrows at that. No-one, not even Amy Santiago, the queen of loving her paperwork and completing her paperwork to the highest standard possible could do their paperwork better than you could.
"It's 'more perfectly.' You said that imperfectly" Holt pointed out Jake's mistake in grammar.
"I was testing you. You did it perfectly" Jake said.
You leaned your head through the seats and said "Quick update on the tagger situation, he is currently spray-painting our van right now."
You all jumped out of the van and starting running after the tagger, you and Holt ahead of Jake because of Jake's sandals.
"NYPD, freeze!" you said over Jake's complaints over his sandals, holding out your badge.
The tagger stopped running and turned to face you and Holt.
"I'm here" Jake announced.
"I already got him" you said.
"We got him" Jake said.
-----------------------------
"Hey, y/n, can you look up the humidity about an hour ago and also what moon cycle we're in?" you heard Jake asking you from across the bullpen.
"No, sorry" you said looking up from typing up your report for a previous case you solved.
Charles sat in the desk opposite and said "So", whilst crossing his arms and looking up at you.
"So" you said, repeating his actions.
"What's going on with you and Jake?" Charles asked.
"What?" you asked in disbelief.
"You know, all the flirting you two have been doing" Charles said.
"Oh" you laughed. "We're just friends, Charles."
"That's what they all say y/n" Charles said.
YOU ARE READING
Brooklyn 99: Jake Peralta x Reader
Fanfiction"Was it? 'Cause I know for a fact you also told her when you got back, and everytime you would, y/n would get 'confused' and then our relationship would get 'out-of-sync,' and if you ask me, I think it's because y/n liked you back" Elliot said. Jake...
