Rip - Trust (Completed)

A Difference of Opinion

"As far as I am concerned you did the right thing, father", said Lee with the authority of being the oldest. "The boy was asking for it. I would have done the very same thing if it had been Taylor."

"You said you never spanked your boys" his father sounded surprised. The thought of his son spanking his grandchild made him feel uneasy.

"I never had to, father. My children know how to behave, they are good kids. I am just saying I would if it was called for," Lee replied.

"Rip is a good kid also", Samuel defended him. "He's just never been told!" he added. 

"Oh, for god sake, Samuel, nobody says he is not. We get it. He's been treated badly, but now he needs to learn right from wrong. And if he doesn't learn by reasoning with him, then he needs the occasional walloping, it's that simple," Lee pointed out. 

"Oh yeah, that simple, well I work with kids like him, and I can tell you it's the opposite from being that simple. Life is a lot more complicated than that. They come from a situation where the adult who is in control is a real danger to them. Where parental control and boundary setting is experienced as inherently unsafe. Their nervous system is under constant attack, they are hyper vigilant, constantly looking out for danger and trying to keep themselves safe by staying in control of themselves and that adult," Samuel tried his best to explain, but they were new enough concepts, even for him. 

"Well he wasn't in control this morning! That's for sure," Lee countered. 

Samuel continued. "Look, when we came home last night he probably got really frightened. Maybe even before that. Did no one else notice how uneasy he was last night during dinner?" He looked around and saw that both Jacob, and Robert were considering what he was saying. "He was so frightened he left the house to sleep in the barn, Lee. His brain is very much still alert to the same triggers that previously signaled danger. This could be anything. A smell, a taste, a texture, a sound, how someone looks at him, an accent, almost anything can transport a traumatised child back into the past, where they were in real danger from the one person who was supposed to love and protect them. 
His father was a violent alcoholic Lee, who came back to the family home, and ended up murdering his mother and little brother in front of him. He was witness to that, he experienced that, and we came home completely hammered, without a second thought how that might impact on him. We should have known better. I should have known better," Samuel said feeling guilty.

"Ok, fair enough, when you put it like that it does make a lot of sense, but it's ridiculous to think that we should have known, or that you should have known for that matter. Until it happens how is anyone supposed to know. And more importantly what is father to do when he behaves like this again? I get what you are saying, he's terrified in situations where there is no need for it and he reacts to that, but you can't let him get away with it. Samuel, he was bang out of order, this morning, and you know it. This is a ranch. It would be dangerous, to allow him to fly off the handle like that. Dad needs to be able to control him. He needs to be able to say stop and he stops. He needs to know who is in charge," Lee argued.

"And anyway, why this morning? There was no threat. We were all sober at that stage" Lee added.

"I don't know, Lee. We were hungover. Maybe he was angry at us for scaring him when we came home, or maybe he wanted to test us, to see if we were safe. I suppose poking a hungover bear might seem less of a risk than a drunk one. Either way we miserably failed, all of us", he said sadly. 

He looked around at his brothers and at his father who did not seem to agree, "Instead of trying to help him to calm down as I have asked you to do, you hauled him out to the woodshed and whipped him with a fucking leather strop, and you", he looked at Robert, "roared at a boy whose father killed his mother and brother in front of him that you would murder him, and the rest of us did fuck all." Samuel was so angry he was close to tears.

"Look, Samuel, I really think you are making too much of a deal of this. We all got the odd spanking from dad. Yes, sometimes he used the belt, but it never did us any harm," Lee tried to persuade his youngest brother with a comforting tone of voice. 

"Oh yeah, I am not sure your wife and children would agree with that," Jamie said, instantly regretting it. He had wanted to talk to Lee ever since his sister in law had approached him, but this was neither the time nor the place. 

"What is that supposed to mean?" Lee asked irritated by what Jamie had just said, making a challenging step towards his brother. "Nothing, Lee, I am sorry I spoke. I meant nothing by it. Don't mind me," he said to appease his brother. "No way, what the fuck did you mean by that, what gives you of all people the right to say something like that?" Lee asked, his voice raised, challenging his brother who looked over to his father in the hope he would intervene.

"Enough you two, you can have it out later" his father said.

"We're not finished!" Lee hissed, pointing at Jamie, successfully intimidating his younger brother, who tried to come across as unfaced.

"Jacob?" his father asked. "What about you? What do you think?" Jacob had wanted to say something for a while now but knew that what he had to say to his father would hurt his feelings, something he was scared to do. He was not good at this kind of thing. He liked to keep things light. 

"To be honest, father I think Samuel makes a lot of sense. It's all about making Rip feel safe. Lee of course has a point too, it's a ranch and not a playground, and keeping him safe also means to have boundaries and being strict with him. But, look dad, it's like this, I spend a lot of time with you in that darn woodshed, and for the most part I did not mind that much. I wasn't as scared about it. Not like Jamie or Samuel anyhow," he explained. He looked uncomfortably at his older brother Jamie as if he had just told a secret, despite it being a well-known although unspoken fact among them all. 

"When I wanted something bad enough, I simply asked myself if it was worth getting a whipping for it or not, and most of the time I decided it was," he said. The other men grinned. Jamie shook his head, smiling to himself. He'd always admired his little brother's bravery and carefree approach. 

"But there is another side to that." Jacob said more seriously, "I never bothered asking you for permission for anything, I always expected you'd say no anyway" he tried to sound funny again as he added, "and then going against it would have been downright suicidal," but no one was laughing, because they all knew what he was talking about. 

"Dad, I was afraid of talking to you when I was a kid," Jacob told his father truthfully.

"Oh, please father, don't! You know I..." Jacob tried to plead with his father, when he saw the man's eyes as he turned away from him to face the window. "Father, I just think, Samuel is right, and it is different for the boy. He's a more like those horses I train. They are terrified and spook easily, so I make sure I don't scare them. When you talk about breaking them in, I talk about winning their trust. Sometimes I push them too soon, and they get scared again, and I have to start all over again, but I always get there in the end."

The old man turned back around to face them. His face void of any emotion. He looked around the room and made eye contact with each and every one of his sons. "Right, ... I'll better go up and check on him. He couldn't possibly be still asleep. Dinner should be ready right about now." None of them had the feintest idea what their father was thinking about what was said.

"Well that went well, wouldn't you all say" Jacob joked, as his father had left the room, but no one laughed, so he added, "son, you can come to me with anything, never fear I would not listen to you. Son, you know I love you! Now hang that paddle back on that wall." imitating his father's way of speaking so well, he had his brothers laughing after all, even so none of them really thought it to be funny.