The problem all began three months ago. He didn't want to be alone.
I didn't want to be alone.
The rest is history.
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Emmi Parths hates highschool. She isn't some social outcast, but growing up in a small town with idiotic rumo...
Lucas couldn't hang out, either. He has some girl problems. Outside of him and Mason, I realized I don't really have many friends. I don't have anyone I can go to. I don't even have Mason.
So, I let my body guide me to the next best place it could find for any sort of comfort. I walked for an hour or so from No-Doze until I could see the tiny reservoir coming into view.
It's uncomfortably close to Mason's house, but it's the last place I can think to go. The only quiet place where I can be alone and just figure myself out.
After finally coming up to the place Mason and I were, I sat on my side and looked out over the view, listening to the quiet nature of the night. A small gust of wind passes over me, pushing my hair behind my shoulders and chilling my nose and ears.
I can't believe what my life has become. It all derailed so quickly. What happened to the old Emmi? The Emmi that didn't mind being alone? The Emmi that didn't even care to think about boys? The Emmi who had a great relationship with her Dad...
I've let so much take over my life, I've stopped focusing on my future and the things that I used to think mattered. I completely forgot my goal to get into college. I'm wasting so much time.
And then it hit me. I'm wasting so much time.
I pull my brows into a frown, feeling the air against my face. The beautiful view doesn't even register in my head anymore. All that I can think of is sitting up here with Mason when I could've been focused on my own goals.
Pulling myself up into a standing position, I glare at the tiny thing of water.
I've lost everything. All I have now is me, and I'm not about to lose that, too.
Turning on my heel, I run down the hill as quickly as I can. Past Mason's house, down the long ass road, and eventually lightly jogging the last bit to my house because I'm really not in shape enough to run constantly.
I quickly make it through the front door, slamming it behind me. My parents both jump a little at their seats in our kitchen, looking over at me with surprise.
"I'm gonna talk, and you're both gonna listen," I say, marching my way to the table.
Neither of them says anything, just stares at me like I'm some random stranger who waltzed into their house.
"Mom," I say, making sure I have her full attention. "You're going to treat me better. I know I'm not the absolute best daughter in the world, but I'm tired of being a punching bag. Literally, my whole world has crumbled at my feet. I just need my mom to be my mom."
Her eyes go to the table. She knows I'm right. I never deserved to be treated like that.
I turn my head to my Dad who's already meeting my gaze. "Dad, I don't think I want to be around you yet. I wish I could bring myself to come around and try and understand you, but I can't. You abandoned me. I needed both of my parents the most for so long, and you left me. I can't just forgive you for that and be willing to pack a bag to stay the night with you every other weekend."
He nods, giving me a sad smile.
"Now that we settled that, it's my turn to really talk about me. A boy just broke my heart. It sucks. I'm gonna get over it, but right now I can physically feel how much it hurts."
My Mom's gaze immediately snaps back to me, her eyes kind of wide.
"Is it the same one who let you borrow his clothes?" She asks a little softly.
That night suddenly popping back into my head made the pain in my chest a little worse somehow. I feel a couple of tears prick my eyes as I nod.
"Yeah, it is. That's honestly a really complicated story to explain, Mom," I croak out, a few tears escaping despite how hard I tried to hold them back.
"Hold on, you came home wearing a boy's clothes?!" My Dad speaks up suddenly, his voice a little loud.
I laugh, wiping my cheeks as I nod.
"He saw you naked?! Oh my gosh, Emmi!" He said, bringing his hand up to his mouth.
"Gosh, Dad. I didn't sleep with him that night!"
"That night?" Both of my parents yell in unison, catching my slip up.
I let out a long, shaky breath before nodding. "Let me tell you guys the full story," I say with a sigh.
And then I did. I told them the whole story from the first rumor, to the last time I saw him at the café, leaving out the details from when he stayed the night. They were on the edge of their seats the whole time I was talking, as if I was telling them some wild fantasy story.
"Some girl told the whole school you were trying to sleep with his whole family?" My Mom gasps, her hand on her chest.
I just nod, feeling exactly how infamous I am currently with my whole school. It's weird from going to some girl people talked to in class to suddenly becoming the town whore.
"What are you gonna do?" She asks.
I sit quietly for a moment, pondering over her question.
"I'm going to graduate with straight A's, ignore everyone I can, and then I'm going to go to college."
They both nod.
"Where do you want to go to college at?" Dad asks, leaning forward onto the table to show me I have his full attention.
"I don't really know for sure. I'm not really even positive about what I want to do in life. I do know that I want to go out of state, though."
I want to put as much distance as I possibly can between myself and this town.
He nods, looking down at the table. Mom shifts in her seat a little, as if uncomfortable with the idea of me going out of state. I'm sure it's purely out of her not wanting to be left alone in a house made for a family. But that didn't stop her not even a week ago, so.
"Well," Dad starts, "we'll support whatever choice to decide to make for your own future. I'll help you pay what I can."
The rest of our conversation went surprisingly well, we just kinda spitballed ideas around for careers and colleges. Finally, around 3 AM, I decided to call it a night.
Going back into my bedroom felt weird to me. It brought me back to the conversations I'd had with Mason just sitting on my bed. Him sleeping next to me in that bed. I felt the pain in my chest grow a little stronger. Even when I wasn't fully acknowledging it, I could still feel it.
I know I shouldn't. I know after that conversation we had, I shouldn't feel anything towards him. I don't think I have any romantic feelings toward him, anymore. But I do feel like I have the right to mourn what I thought I had.
My body moved on its own, quickly grabbing a notebook and pen sitting on my dresser and flopping down onto my carpet. I open it to a clean page a little too aggressively and start feverishly writing a list.
1. New bed sheets and pillowcases 2. New picture frames 3. New phone case 4. New decor
I threw the notebook on my nightstand as I started climbing into bed. I knew sleep wouldn't take over me for a while as I stare up at the ceiling. Finally, though, I close my eyes regardless while I snuggle into the cool duvet.
Don't worry, Emmi. We're going to get past this.
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I'm ngl, I really hate writing anything sad for Emmi.
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