What I Should Have Done ✓

Chapter 33, Part I

Sure, I would have loved to sit beside Marianne instead of in the back of the block next to complete strangers, but I wasn't a member of either family, and at least this way I could swoon over my dashing friend John in a frickin' tuxedo without getting caught. John Jay, after months of my seemingly hopeless pining for him, had told me he liked me too. And I was still committed to someone else. Not someone, my boyfriend Liam. I may have been a lot of objectionable things, but the one thing I would not be was a cheater.

A heavy lady around 50 in a god-awful shapeless flower-print dress plunked herself down on the chair next to me which wobbled dangerously on its uneven legs. Her face was red and her, no doubt real, pearl necklace rested against the blotchy skin on the flesh over her collarbone. She introduced herself as the groom's aunt Betty and asked me if I knew whether there would be an open bar at the dinner later.

Thankfully, I couldn't entertain the conversation for long because the music had stopped and everyone seemed anxious for the ceremony to begin. John was fidgeting with his bowtie. When he caught my eye, he straightened immediately and winked at me with a grin playing on his lips, but he couldn't hide his nerves from me. Double- and triple-checking his pocket for the ring only made it painfully obvious. Casting one glance at Andrew, though, his younger brother was playing it cool in comparison. Andrew kept shifting his weight from one foot to another and had his hands folded while absentmindedly tapping his wrist with his index finger. He looked impeccable in his expensive black tux and fancy matching waistcoat. Despite his formal dress, he resembled an energized puppy struggling to sit still.

It was redemption from the almost insufferable tension when, finally, the opening fanfares of Mendelssohn's wedding march sounded from the speakers. Laura emerged from the door at the back of the room. All guests turned around simultaneously, only I waited for a moment longer to catch Andrew's expression. I was able to pinpoint the exact second when he laid eyes on her: he swallowed heavily and I felt like I was looking at a real-live emoji with hearts in the place of eyes. John cast his glance from Laura to his brother's profile, straightened his back and puffed his chest.

When I finally turned around to see Laura walking down the aisle, I was taken aback. I had always found her beautiful in the humble-prom-queen and talk-of-the-town sort of way, but the way her white mermaid dress accentuated her slim figure and how the sparkle of the rhinestones around her narrow waist complemented the sparkle in her eyes took my breath away. She had agreed to a white veil, but hadn't wanted it to cover her face, so it instead loosely covered the simple half-updo her maid of honor Katie had worked her magic on. Laura's parents were seated in the first row right beside the Jays and when Laura reached them, she held out a hand to each of them in a moving gesture, holding theirs tightly before she arrived at her final stop beside Andrew and put her hands in his. Since neither of them had wanted a religious ceremony, the wedding officiary was their super chill 50-something senior-year English professor named Doug in whose class they had first met, even if they had not fallen in love then yet.

Doug pulled a stack of index cards out of his suit pocket, cleared his throat, and began with heavy pathos in his voice: "A warm welcome to all of you: friends and family of the bride and groom, Laura and Andrew, and anyone who might have walked into the wrong room and was looking for the Schwartz bat mitzvah. It's in the mansion down the street." Audible chuckle went through the crowd and I snuck a glance at John who grinned widely. Doug brushed a hand over his gray ponytail, looking pleased his first joke had landed.

"For those of you who don't know me: my name is Doug Starling and I am a professor of English at the University of Pennsylvania. When Laura and Andrew asked me to officiate their wedding, I was not only honored, but also quite surprised and immediately went through my records again to ascertain who they were." The guests giggled yet again. "They had been unfortunate enough to take my The Epic Story class their senior year."

If he hadn't had them before, he now had the audience wrapped around his little finger for good.He paused for a moment, flipping through his index cards. "I was politely yet firmly asked not to draw this out too long, so I'll skip the middle part." Laura faked an indignant face at the grinning Doug, prompting the audience to laugh again.

"Laura and Andrew, when I had you in class, I didn't expect the two of you to become 'a thing', as they say, let alone to get married. I could not be happier for you that you are, and I am so glad you've been sharing your joy with me by staying in touch and granting me the highest additional honors someone with a summa cum laude PhD could imagine: seeing you into marriage.

"While you don't need me to give you condescending advice on your relationship, it is something the crowd expects from a man in my position, so here you go. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 reads: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. While this may be true of love, it is not always true of people. So, when times get tough, try not to speak from a place of anger, but a place of love. Remember it is not one of you against the other, but the both of you against the problem. Now I'll gather all my willpower to be quiet for a moment so you can read your messages to one another."

Doug took a deep breath and so did Laura and Andrew as well as Katie and John.

Andrew began, unfolding a small piece of paper he pulled from his suit pants pocket.

"Just like for college exams, I prepared a little cheat sheet." With a sideways glance at Doug's arched eyebrow, he added: "—that I of course never used back then." John sent me a skeptical look and mouthed: Yeah, right. I grinned at him.

The two exchanged beautiful, emotional vows that made both sets of parents take turns handing each other tissues. Now came John's big moment. He looked a little bit too focused when he slipped a hand into his inner pocket and pulled out the ring box to hand over to his brother. Andrew took the ring and gave the small box back to John before carefully slipping the jewelry onto his fiancée's finger and kissing her knuckle. Then it was Laura's turn to accept the ring from Katie and guide her soon-to-be-husband's finger through it.

Doug took their 'I do's', then continued: "By the power vested in me by the State of New York courthouse clerk over by the door who agreed to let me do my thing and later sign off that it was him who had officiated the wedding... I pronounce you husband and wife. I now patronizingly allow you to kiss, but please keep it PG."

Andrew grinned like a Cheshire cat when he took Laura's face in his hands, she wrapped her arms around his waist, and they shared a kiss laced with emotion for everyone to see. The audience started clapping and I joined in, taking a deep breath so I wouldn't cry myself. It was clear as daylight that their hearts were overflowing with love for one another and I couldn't wait to find this for myself one day.

"Alright now, enough, you two," interrupted Doug after about ten seconds. "The kids don't need to see that. Let's hit the buffet and the dance floor, everyone!"

And with that, everyone scrambled to their feet. Aunt Betty, whom I had forgotten despite her sitting right next to me, excused herself to "scour the buffet area."

I waited for the area to clear so I wouldn't get stuckin the stream of guests and wash up in a group of strangers. John hugged Lauratightly, then Andrew to congratulate them before excusing himself to make abeeline for me through the empty rows of folding chairs.