The Killer Among Us

Chapter 35

Ava relentlessly pushed against my chest, crowding me against the wall. I never really knew how to control anger myself, but in that moment, Ava possessed an anger I simply couldn't comprehend and I wasn't entirely sure it was actually directed at me. Most people looked at Ava without realising what a whirlwind of emotions was bottled up inside her fragile frame. After years of playing hide and seek with her own anxieties, she mastered the art of masquerading as someone she was not and yet, every once in a while, her mask cracked and a glimpse of her true emotions burst out.

I noticed that concealed side of her but I could never truly understand it, because she never let me in long enough for me to even scratch the surface. Somewhere deep inside of me was but a spark of empathy and yet her uncontainable fury only did wonders at extinguishing any pity that I had left. Her unending pushing and hitting only animated me further. Her words stung, her betrayal pained me. Somehow she found it in herself to hurt me in the deepest way she knew how to, by rejecting me, making me feel inadequate.

"Stop it, Ava," I commanded her, "Stop it!"

Yet she didn't stop. She spat at me insult after insult, each one worse than the one before, accompanied by the occasional push to the chest.

After what felt like hours of relentless obscenities and painful jabs to my hurt, I finally yelled, grabbing her hand, "Ava, would you fucking stop this? You broke up with me."

Her breath was labored and shallow. "You're right," she said. "I broke up with you." The statement hung heavy in the air, until her eyes locked on mine.

"Then why am I still here? Hm, why haven't you kicked me out? Does hurting me give you some sick and twisted feeling of satisfaction? Isn't it enough that you broke my heart? Do you have to break my ego now, too?" I asked her, hoping she would back down and let me fix this.

"I know you don't mean any of this," I began again after a few moments of silence, "You're hurting and you're trying to take this out on me. But I won't have any of it. I am still here for a reason. You haven't kicked me out because you still love me."

Some part of me hoped that this was just another outburst, that her words were just lies trying to hurt me. But I was wrong. Something changed in Ava and I am not sure that anyone could have fixed it.

"So, fucking leave, Jacob!" she said, "I don't need you. I never have!"

I tilted my head, questioning her statement and chuckling slightly, "So you're replacing me with another poor soul, hoping he would fill the gaping hole in your plastic heart."

She pushed me against the wall again. This time even harder, causing a picture frame to fall to the ground and shatter loudly.

"You're just a useless nobody, Jacob. You don't have a life, not anymore. You lost it the day your coward of a father died."

I would have rather had her plunge a knife into my chest than speak words this heartless. For a second I wondered if she would have, had she had a knife.

"Oh, come on, Ava. We both know that you are this way because you lived in your sister's shadow for too long," I finally said, "I guess not even Ava bloody Collins can live up to her dead fucking sister."

Suddenly, a sharp slap echoed through the hall. I held my hand up to my face, feeling the sting that pierced through my skin. The place where her hand collided with my face pulsated in pain and grew hot in anger. A look of horror appeared on her face but she quickly shook it off.

With that single move Ava managed to flip a switch inside of me I didn't know existed.

From that point on, I hardly remember what happened. It was all a blur, a mess of emotions and outburst.