Children of Night and Snow

36. Lost Children Of Dead Alpha

We spent that whole night planning. We knew the merchant wouldn't part with his precious items, which meant they would be in the safe in his guest room in the pack house. It was up to me and Connor to figure out how to get inside and get the necklace. Nolan and Lucia were to be a distraction, their job was to sneak into the event and cause a commotion when discovered, creating enough chaos for Connor and I to slip outside unnoticed. It seemed simple enough. But I knew that it was anything but. In fact for the next three weeks, I was nervous as hell. I kept training with the boys and thinking of strategies to do the job. But overall, I just wanted it over with. Stealing was not something I enjoyed. But then again, most of the things I had to do here to survive weren't things I would even think of doing back home.

Nolan was all too excited to tattoo over the scar on my right wrist the very next day after our big plan meeting. I couldn't help but admire his skill. He sketched out a beautiful pattern of winter roses to go around my wrist and connect to the Duskfall mark right above on my forearm. The intricate pattern included thorns and leaves and ended on my thumb. And most importantly, it hid the scar so well, I couldn't tell there was one to begin with if I didn't know. It was also yet another step away from who I was towards whoever I was becoming. And I found myself less and less worried about those changes. My thoughts still took me back home, I still asked myself what would mom and dad think. But it no longer stopped me or caused me to panic. Slowly I began accepting that at the end of the day what they would think hardly mattered. They weren't here to judge me. They couldn't be. And I couldn't let my thoughts of them hinder my chances at survival or even a good life.

"So, are you ready for tomorrow?" Devan asked me. My training was over for the day and I stood in the closet, putting together my outfit for tomorrow.

"As ready as I can be," I replied without looking at him. I was brushing out a wig I picked out earlier when Lucia took me out shopping for the event. She suggested I choose one as a disguise and I also added a pair of brown contact lenses to it since brown was the only eye color I could somewhat convincingly pull off without people questioning the lack of supernatural glow our eyes had.

"So, not at all," Devan said matter-of-factly.

"Nope, not at all," I admitted and he gave me a chuckle in response. It was always strange to see him show any emotion since he did it so rarely.

"You'll be fine," he put a hand on my shoulder, prompting me to look up at him.

"You say that even after what happened on the hunt a few weeks ago?" I asked, genuinely surprised to hear these words from him of all people.

"I say this because of the hunt a few weeks ago," he replied. "You're a fast learner. And your survival instincts are stronger than anyone I have ever met. You aren't a person to make these kinds of mistakes twice."

"You believe in me more than I believe in myself," I said as I laid down my dress and boots, all ready for the next day.

"I see my sister in you. When we lost everything ten years ago, the way she dealt with the new way of life we've had to get used to, it was very similar," he leaned against the wall and watched me with that unreadable expression in his eyes.

"What happened, if you don't mind me asking?" None of them ever mentioned anything about their past. And I never really asked. It was a painful subject for me, so I just assumed it was the same for them. It only now occurred to me that I knew nothing about any of them. Who were they before they ended up here, in this house, with seemingly nobody but each other to guide them through the cold and darkness of this World?

"There isn't much to tell. Demi and I grew up in sort of a bubble considering how this place works. We were Alpha's kids. We didn't have to worry about a thing. But Duskfall more than any other town experiences violent shifts of power. My parents were no exception. We went from the rich spoiled brats to homeless orphans on the street. And as you already know, being on the streets out here means long, painful but sure death," he spoke so casually as if it wasn't his life, his tragedy, but someone else's.

"How old were you?" I asked unsure if I even wanted an answer.

"Demi was eleven. I was fourteen." They were just kids. Likely didn't even know how to shift yet. If this happened ten years ago, this meant Demi was now twenty one. And Devan was twenty four. So, at least about them my guesses were correct.

"How did you survive?" I whispered, feeling heartbroken for those two kids they once were.

"We hid in the tunnels and stole food just like you did. But after about a year we got caught stealing from one of the village merchants. She was a horrible woman with zero compassion. In fact it was her who scared my face. But it was a lesson for both Demi and I. Getting caught was a mistake we weren't going to repeat ever again. The woman, Sarah was her name, decided to have us work for our debt to her. Earn enough money to replace the goods we've stolen. That's where we learnt most of what we know today. How to fight, how to gather information without being seen. And also how to kill."

"We were working for her for years and because we became so good at our jobs, she was not going to let us leave. Not while she was still alive. And then we met Connor during one of the jobs. He helped us kill Sarah and renovate this house, which was hers before we accidentally burnt it to the ground in order to hide the evidence. That was our fresh start. Eventually others joined us and the rest is history," he finished their story.

"Do you miss it? The life you had before, I mean," my words got stuck in my throat. It felt odd to imagine Devan and Demi as spoiled rich kids, when I looked at him. He looked like a soldier, a man who went through war. The idea that there were days when he didn't know this life seemed so foreign. So impossible.

"I don't. It's so been so long I can barely remember that I lived a different life. But I'd lie if I said I never did. The first two years were rough. We felt guilty, like we were betraying everything we knew, who we were," Devan's voice was still casual, hauntingly indifferent.

"When did the guilt go away?" I was torn. Part of me wanted to stop feeling the way I felt whenever I did something I was always taught was wrong. But the other part was terrified of the idea, because if I do, what will be left of that girl from Moonvalley? She was useless here, I knew that. But I loved her still. I loved being her.

"Gradually, over time as we realized that the past wasn't coming back. And we had no future if we kept holding onto it. You'll get there, too. One day. And there is nothing wrong with that," he gave me a reassuring smile I didn't know I needed. I gave him a hesitant one in return as I wondered about my future self, whoever she'll be. If she'll also look like a warrior, if whoever will ask her in the future will also wonder how could she have been anyone different.

"Thank you for sharing your story with me," I said when silence took over the room.

"No need. You shared yours with Nolan knowing full well I was listening in. It's only fair you also get to know the people you live with," he brushed it off like it was nothing. But to me, it meant everything at that moment.

*** 

You may have noticed I'm trying to start a posting pattern for myself, so this means I will do my absolute best to post new chapter every Wednesday and Saturday. The first book is finished and I'd say I'm about half way through the second one, so I should be able to stick to posting pattern for a little bit. Even if there is likely going to be a break between two books. 

If you've read this far, please feel free to leave a comment or a vote. It really helps me to keep writing when I see others enjoying the story. 

Thank you!