My Heart's Desire

II. I never want to fall asleep

Author's note: what they don't tell you about posting is the immediate "oh shit what did I do" feeling 😂 I hope this still isn't trash, enjoy!

12:00 am
I looked at the screen on my phone willing the clock to go backward. My hands were sore, my brain exhausted, my day still not over. I was stitching the last row of rhinestones onto Jake's jacket shoulder, they'd hang down from the jewel encrusted epaulette giving interest and sparkle.

I don't normally stretch projects to the last minute but I truly wanted these costumes to be perfect. After all it was my first major band gig so I had to step it up.

I did in fact survive the rest of that lunch meeting minimally scathed. Having the presence of mind to only do two tequila shots instead of the four the guys had or I would not have remembered much of that meeting...

"So we want to start the video off in grey sad utilitarian clothes, and then slowly start to add color/interest as the song continues"
I nodded at Josh's words, scribbling them down as fast as possible. Planning on going back and listening to the song on repeat to come up with more symbolism and ideas I could add to this idea. And suddenly it hit me,
"Ok, so you talk of broken glass and city lights and I think having the addition of bits of rhinestones/jewels added can give that fun texture effect especially when interacting with the lighting and be a bit of hidden symbolism" I said, hopefully looking at the four of them.
"Oh I like that, and it goes well with our Heat Above video" Danny said gesturing with his glass.
"Exactly!" Sam said taking advantage of Danny's outstretched cup clinking them together.
I smiled and laughed a little at their camaraderie. Looking back at Josh and then briefly at Jake. He had been quiet since arriving. We made eye contact as Danny and Josh talked about the parallels the two songs shared.
Briefly I looked him up and down as he did the same to me. Throughout the meeting he had been letting Josh take the lead, giving just enough input to make me want more, yearn to hear his every thought, what went on behind those dark eyes, to go behind the curtain so to speak. It was distracting to say the least.
"I for one love how ambiguous our clothes have been in the past. I like playing with the construct of breaking the mold of gendered clothing. What do you think Rosie?" Sam said, pulling my attention from Jake's mystique.
"I agree, I think traditional menswear has dug itself a hole and the only way out is embracing gender fluidity because otherwise it will stay boring."
"I don't know, there's something about a sharp dressed man" Jake mused, one corner of his lips turning up into a smile.
"Yes, but a sharp dressed man with a flair for the dramatic will always win" I said not backing down. Earning an eyebrow and a cup raise from him.
"To Androgyny and breaking the mold" He said drinking down the rest of his IPA.
I finished my second marg feeling a bit toasty and hoping we would end the meeting before I started feeling extra bold.
"Another round?" He suggested, I couldn't contain my shocked facial expression gaining a laugh from the other boys. His eyes dancing with mischief, almost challenging me to try and keep up...

"Annd done" I said to myself, the theme song to yet another episode parks and rec playing in the background to keep me company.
Hanging Jake's plum jeweled jacket up next to the mauve velvet jumpsuit for Josh. I couldn't believe in less than 6 hours I'd be shooting my first music video as a costume designer in Nashville. Younger me would be so proud, and yet all I could do was hope Jake would be impressed.
I hadn't really interacted with the boys much other than a fitting here and there and some video chats with Josh to make sure the color palette lived up to his hopes and dreams. But I couldn't shake wanting the more demure twin's approval.

Tomorrow I'd have final fittings in the morning and then be on set for filming the rest of the day. Thankfully my best friend and wardrobe aficionado Clara would be there to help with continuity and anything I needed. She had no clue who Greta Van Fleet were and didn't care in the slightest (more of a Sinatra fan). Which was helpful in keeping me grounded, not that I had a big head, it was more they were very good at sweeping anyone off into their chaos. And as someone who's been in the industry for a bit, she'd be able to keep closer reigns than I... or so I hoped.