WORDS. |Kim Seungmin

Thirty Two.

Relieved.

Seungmin almost felt relieved. He felt like a huge weight fell off his shoulders once he told Aria the truth. From the very first day, he hated lying to her. He hated hiding his true self. Although he still had more secrets to reveal, secrets that he was still afraid that they might scare her, he was relieved. He was thankful too. She didn't seem to be hating him. She surely looked confused and shocked but not hating. Not disgusted.

Seungmin lifted his head up to look at his reflection in the mirror. For the first time in years, he didn't completely dispute the image he saw. He didn't get scared of the monster looking back at him. He didn't feel like smashing that mirror. Although he looked the worst since he got his first punishment, he smiled.

He indeed looked the worst.

His face had no skin showing from the words covering it in black. Words were written all over his face, neck, chest, arms, and sure he would find them down his torso and legs if he checked. He chuckled to himself. It was his first time in years to talk that much to the extent of looking that bad.

For hours, he sat with Aria and answered as many questions as he could. The more he talked, the more his skin got painted with his words. He was afraid that while talking he would get uglier in her eyes. He was afraid that at some point she would get scared and run. He was afraid that she would see him as a freak. But that never happened. She stayed there silently, listening to him, never shoving her eyes off his face.

"Baby steps, Seungmin. Baby steps." Seungmin whispered to himself not caring about where the words would be written.

His hand grabbed his camera as he stepped back from the mirror to get a wider view of his upper body. He lifted the camera up and positioned it to take a photo of himself in the mirror. Soon the camera had the polaroid photo coming out of it. Seungmin placed the camera by the mirror again before taking the photo to fan it. He looked at the photo, waiting for it to appear but it remained blank.

"What is wrong with it?" He mumbled to himself while fanning it again.

Before he could ever question more, the doorbell rang. Hesitantly, he dropped the photo somewhere, zipped his hoodie over his tank top again, and went downstairs. As he approached the door, he started to panic. He couldn't simply open the door with the state he was in. It could be Felix or even Changbin. He didn't want to scare them.

"Hey, it's me." Aria's voice came from behind the door, making him sigh in relief.

He stepped forward, opened the door then backed off. Aria stepped in once the door was open ahead of her. She looked at Seungmin who was hiding behind the door, looking at the ground. He was still insecure around her about how he looked.

Aria closed the door and stood there in silence. Awkwardly, she started rubbing her nape, not knowing what to say or where to start. She decided to just shoot her questions directly. "I have more questions." She said, making Seungmin lift his head to look at her. He nodded politely, giving her permission to ask. "How do they go away? I mean the words. If they can't be washed or cleaned, how do they fade?"

He sighed dropping his tensed shoulders. Although he wasn't sure of what he was doing, he decided to let it be. He started walking away from where he was standing, towards the stairs. Aria was following him with her eyes. Seungmin took the first few stairs up then stopped to look over his shoulder at Aria. He signaled her to follow him which she curiously did.

Seungmin and Aria stood facing each other at the door of Seungmin's room. He exhaled loudly before he opens the door and let her in. Once they were in, Seungmin switched on the lights. That was right before she gasped. Aria's jaw dropped and her eyes widened.

She was standing in the middle of his past few years. Aria walked to one of the walls covered with photos. She stood there, scanning them with her wide eyes while having a hand covering her mouth. Her eyes got lost between all of those photos. All of him. Alone. Or more precisely, his words. Some photos had his face, others had his arms, legs, back, chest, neck, and wherever a word existed.

Each photo had a date and time written on it. Aria knitted her brows while trying to gather up the pieces. She started following the dates, making little calculations in her head. She moved from one corner to another still, counting the hours or the days silently. Aria backed off from the wall she was facing and then turned to look around.

The room was bare!

Only those photos covering the walls. One window. One couch. Some shelves. A mirror. Some cameras and a camera holder.

She looked back at Seungmin with the most sorrowful look ever. "Twenty-four hours?" She questioned once her brain did the calculations. "Do they just fade after twenty-four hours? By themselves?"

Seungmin nodded at her.

Aria walked back to where he was standing. She stepped close to his taller body, leaving only very few inches between them. Her eyes examined his face carefully. "These too, will be here for a whole day?" She asked him as her hand was making its way to his painted face. Just before she touches him, he jolted, stepping away from her, making her hand drop to her side again.

Aria scrunched her face in confusion. There was still one question nagging inside her skull. "Do they hurt?" She asked. "The words? I mean the process of them being written on your skin. Do your skin hurt?"

Seungmin shook his head.

Aria exhaled loudly. She was frustrated with how silent he turned again. She tried to keep her voice compromised but her face wasn't. She was glaring at him with her eyes that were digging holes in his painted face. "Use your words, Kim Seungmin."

"No." He answered shortly.

"Then why the hell do you keep backing off whenever I try to touch you? Why do you hate me touching your skin that much?" She questioned, stepping closer till she was almost pressed to him. "What more do you still hide, Seungmin?" She whispered.