Eli Borrelli

15: First breakdown

Eli POV.

I started laughing my ass off. I knew it was not the right call, but I couldn't stop myself. My brothers looked at me like I was crazy, and maybe I was. I saw my eldest brothers study me and then turn to each other in shock.

"Yeah. Yeah, I am," I laughed.

I had no idea why I said that, but I had no control over my word at that point.

"What the hell?! Why? Where'd you even get that shit?" Matteo asked not precisely knowing what to do.

I stopped laughing and looked at him in amusement.

"Oh please. You don't go through the shit I've gone through and come out of it sane," I said with a humorous grin.

All of my brothers quickly turned to Alessandro to see what he'd say, but he just stared at me just as emotionally as always.

"What did you take?" he finally asked.

"Just some weed and opioids. Oh, and a cigarette, but that's not what got me high," I said slowly calming down.

My brothers were shocked, to say the least. Antonio looked really ashamed. I guess he blamed himself. He shouldn't tho, who would've guessed their sixteen-year-old long-lost sibling was a druggie.

"We're going to the hospital," Alessandro huffed starting to walk out of the room.

No. My eyes widened and my heart rate picked up. Fuck no.

"No, shit. Please, don't. I'll be better, okay? I won't do that shit anymore. I know what happens after the hospital! You won't send me back there! Please don't send me back there. I can't go back there. Not to him, please no," I begged my heart out starting to hyperventilate.

They'd send me back to the camp. I knew it. There was no way I could make it. Anything but that. I needed to get out, to run, but my legs were numb as fuck. I couldn't be overdosing, could I?

Lorenzo exchanged a quick look with Alessandro, before getting closer to me.

I backed away in an instant. I didn't want anyone to touch me. I could feel a panic attack coming and I couldn't stop it. The memories came back like pain shooting through my body, The room, the other kids, him. They were going to send me back.

I dug my nails into my palms, trying to end the cycle of pain and memories flooding through my mind. As soon as the warm liquid started to drip from my hands, all my brothers were by my side with wide eyes.

"Stop it!" I screamed, not understanding what they were saying.

They tried to open my hands, but I was too strong. I could do it well enough, dad wouldn't have to do it. I just had to show them I could. They were strong, it would be bad. I had to do it. I kept on pressing my nails against my palms with tears threatening to escape my eyes. I would not let them, not now, not ever. It would be so much worse. I had to get something better. A knife, a blade, anything. Even a pin or a needle would do.

I couldn't breathe anymore, and I could feel my consciousness fade away. My last thought before it went dark was, that I was going to wake up back there.

It was official. That was the worst high ever.

Gabriele POV.

What the fuck just happened?!

Eli was now passed out in my arms, with blood dripping from their palms. I turned to Lorenzo silently asking him what to do.

Alessandro quickly lifted Eli off of me and started running. We all ran after him still in shock. The only one who seemed to have at least a bit sorted head was Antonio. He was faster than us all opening the car door for Alessandro to put Eli in.