Meraki

Metanoia◍

Elham's POV:

Once you hit the age of twenty, no matter what you and your family are going through but people all care about marriage. Being the only child of my parent live has been easy and equally difficult for me. People just thought about having things and I got it just by pointing my fingers at them. Expensive or cheap. I want it and get it.

Conservative mentality or maybe the concerned nature of my parents had often created hindrances for me. They never permitted me to step out of the house alone, I had to tag my mother all along, and because of it, I always ditched meet-up plans. My father loved me unconditionally to trust any stranger; I mean friends here. He always wants me to be on good terms with my cousins, paternal or maternal, doesn't matter whether I want anything except being on good terms with these snakes.

Well, it's not like, I don't talk to any of them but only selected a few. I've been friendly or kind of close to my two paternal cousins, Almeera appi and Aaban Bhai. Oh! Aaban Bhai, I'm getting married to him, next week, neither of us wants it, but neither of can't denies it either, what reason would we give? He's dentist and seven years older than me. I still remember what he told me from the other side of the phone, told, no, not, he bellowed at me, making me scared.

When he broke up with his girlfriend, wait, let me frame it better, his girlfriend ditched him and married someone else because the reason is the same for all desi people. "Abbu nhi managey!". It's been five years now, I was seventeen at that time but fate played us. He shared everything about his relationship with me, though I was a teenager at that time, somehow things went with the flow because I called him once to talk about it and he was frustrated, he wanted to share and being a good listener I'm, I listened without any judgment. He started chatting with me on daily basis, and replying to each other's stories had become normal for us.

He repeats himself about being over her but I never buy it. After all eight years are not a small span amount of time. However, I still tried to reach him despite his ignoring behavior towards me. His elder sister, Almeera appi even asked me, do you mind marrying someone with a past and like every other time I replied "Not at all, if that person doesn't compare his present to his past, after all, history is meant to remember, isn't it?"

+++

One week passed in a blur, smiling, dancing, laughing, and crying۔ Each emotion I felt to the core. Sitting here, waiting for him. I still don't know how'd all this go. I'm not ready for intimacy, yet. Though I'm told not to deny him.

He stepped in with a stiff posture, I was peaking through my veil, observing him. He looked here and there and leisurely walked towards me. Sitting on the bed, he unveiled my face, with plain fizzog. I looked so small sitting in front of him, he's 6 feet while I'm five. We're poles apart.

We sat in complete awkwardness for a few minutes until he broke it "yeh lou thumhari mu dikhai." He said keeping a box in front of me. He doesn't even care to open it. It hurts but didn't show it. If he wasn't interested in marrying me, neither do I was dying, right? But what is this behavior, at least he can be a little bit civil. Leaving me alone, he got to change and I sat there feeling forced. I don't deserve this, these words constantly running through my mind.

Changing my attire into a comfortable one, I again took my precious place. Not knowing what to do, I plugged air pods into my ears, scrolling through Instagram. Anticipating might we exchange some words tomorrow.

+++

I woke up around seven thirty in the morning, the weather was chill and cozy making me lazy. I forcefully rolled out of the bed for accepting the first morning of married life. After freshening up, I make breakfast for us, tea with some scrumble egg and french toast. He's still slept and neither did I bother to awaking him. I had my breakfast alone, it was not even a day and I already start missing my parents.

He woke up and had his breakfast. He made some space for me in the wardrobe, and I instantly start adjusting and setting things there. We both sat and use the different corners of the house the whole day, he's avoiding me and I'm trying to adjust.

+++

Metanoia- the journey of changing one's mind, heart, self, or way of life.

Well, I tried to write in the first person point of view rather than omniscient, how was it? Please do share your honest opinion 🙇🏼‍♀️ and don't forget to follow me🤧

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