Under the Microscope (Book One of Three)

Chapter 14

The next two weeks had gone by rather smoothly, the occasional talk show or interview, sometimes with Daniel but usually on my own, as he had gone to Perth a couple of days later to spend a long weekend with his family. I'd filled my free time with workouts that allowed me to explore Melbourne and my evenings were largely spent playing the track on the F1 game. I was determined to make a mark this weekend, whether I ended up in the points or not, I was going to push hard and be aggressive, not just with driving but with strategy. We had been talking lots, and while nothing was confirmed, the Williams team had agreed that the only way we were going to make a mark was by taking risks.

The other big thing that had happened was that my Vogue Australia cover had come out the week before the race was to take place. While I was self-conscious about the photos, the article had been nice, and the reaction had been positive which led to me giving into Olivia's push for me to take a more stylish approach to the weekend. My media day on Thursday and track walk had been done in my usual team gear, with the team tank top to help combat the heat. The sun beat down and felt hotter here than it had in Saudi the previous week. Thursday was good fun as I enjoyed the media duties, particularly enjoyed watching how much Alex hated them and all the comments and jokes I could make about his new red hair. The story of why he did it was so touching and when he asked whether I would as well I couldn't bring myself to say no. I was far from saying yes, but I just shrugged and smiled and made some joke about being the girl on fire.

The media day did go well until I was caught in the middle of a difficult question during the press conference where I was asked, "Is it difficult to show your potential week in and week out, given the standing of the car." The journalist was of course referring to the rankings of the car's abilities following testing and the first two races which put Williams significantly behind the rest of the cars that had been made public by Formula One. It was a low moment for the team, but unfortunately wasn't anything they weren't used to.

"No, it's not difficult I don't think," I said cautiously, I really hadn't expected to be asked that question. "The people that need to know and see my abilities and potential, the senior people in Williams and other teams like Mercedes, they know. They're watching and I know they're seeing good things. Even if the results are the same week in, week out they know that I am performing at the top of my game and that, yeah, there's potential here. So yeah, I'm not concerned." I say awkwardly gesturing to myself, not wanting to outright say, put me in a decent car and I'll be in the points, but I think they could tell what I meant.

Following that was Friday and Saturday, I had worn clothes designed by independent and ethical female Australian designers, taking time to try and do my hair somewhat nicely. After talking with Daniel, and more chats with Lewis, I realised that I was only doing myself a disservice by saying no to opportunities like that, and if I was going to stand apart from the rest of the drivers, I may as well be glamorous anyways. However, the criticism I had expected did come and I saw plenty of comments on social media about how I should focus less on fashion and more on racing. Or suggestions that I had given up on driving for the season as I put energies into other 'hobbies'. That comment made me want to throw my phone out the window, but luckily Olivia snatched it out of my hand before I was able to do so, seeing the thunderous look on my face.

I was used to being competitive, to winning. I knew this season was going to be a challenge in the Williams, but I never realised how much it was going to wear away at me mentally. I know it's not forever but between the questions and the speculation, I was struggling. As I had confessed to Daniel, I did have a two-year contract with Williams, but I had no intention of being stuck at the bottom for longer than necessary, and while it might sound brutal, Williams didn't seem to have the potential to break the current trend. They simply didn't have the money, so my eyes and Toto's were on the lookout for a seat in a mid-field team, or even a top team while I wait for Lewis to retire.