To the Start of a New World

3.6

Back when they had been kids, Lu Hao used to drag Hong Sheng everywhere. Hong Sheng was like his puppy. He showed him off to his friends, ran around with him in the park, and wouldn't go anywhere without Hong Sheng at his heels. Even when Lu Hao was playing with the other kids in the neighborhood, Hong Sheng had been there with him—but not playing with them.

Lu Hao had tried including Hong Sheng. He'd taught him how to kick around a ball, how to play the customary children's games. But the only one Hong Sheng really ever joined was hide and seek. Most of the time, Hong Sheng lingered in the shadows by the side, curled up in the shade of a tree or a bush, watching the other kids played. He'd only ever look up when Lu Hao came near.

Hong Sheng only ever had him in his eyes, and Lu Hao had loved that.

So he'd never pushed for the other kids to include Hong Sheng, or get them to understand him. He'd never tried to bring Hong Sheng out of his shell around his other friends. Him being the only one in Hong Sheng's world was perfect.

But then, when they'd been about ten or eleven, another kid moved to their neighborhood.

He was quiet, like Hong Sheng. But in a different way. More like he was thoughtful. He was the grandson of some famous calligrapher, and all the girls had talked about how elegant he seemed. He was a little sickly, too, which meant that he couldn't join the boys in any of their sports matches.

That also meant that when the kids in the neighborhood gathered around to play, that boy sat on the sidelines, right next to Hong Sheng.

They didn't talk at first. Lu Hao had been watching them from the corner of his eye ever since the new kid had come over to check out what was going on. But a couple of weeks later, Lu Hao saw the new kid talking to Hong Sheng, and Hong Sheng was listening to him.

At that point, Lu Hao had called for a break in the game. He'd been sweating with exertion, and panting a little bit. But he wiped off his sweat, put on a casual smile, and walked over to the two of them.

Lu Hao didn't remember what exactly he'd done and said. But he remembered sitting between the two of them, ensuring that Hong Sheng wouldn't pay any attention to that new kid anymore.

After a while, the new kid found some other friends and didn't come around as much. Some time later, he moved away again.

If Lu Hao hadn't gotten between that guy and Hong Sheng, they might have become friends. Something about that had made Lu Hao afraid, though he hadn't wanted to admit it. Once Hong Sheng made other friends, once other people entered Hong Sheng's world, would he still have the same place in Hong Sheng's heart?

It was Lu Hao's selfish possessiveness. He couldn't stand the idea of someone else being closer and more important to Hong Sheng than himself. And that hadn't been the only time.

Even when they were older, Lu Hao kept Hong Sheng closely guarded. He'd kept Lisa Xi from getting close to Hong Sheng, blocking her from including him in her research. He'd seen the way the girl they'd rescued, Yu Qiu, had managed to touch Hong Sheng and act so intimately with him after just a single day, and he'd nearly wanted to assign her to a group that would take her as far from Hong Sheng as possible.

This kind of behavior—wanting to keep Hong Sheng all to himself, wanting to make sure no one else could get close to him—was something dark, a deeply twisted desire that Lu Hao had never closely examined. He'd rationalized it by telling himself that only he could fully appreciate and understand Hong Sheng. And Hong Sheng had seemed more than happy with it, so what was the harm?

People couldn't survive alone. Cutting Hong Sheng off from anyone who could possibly be his future friend, or even... a future lover, was nothing more than Lu Hao's selfishness.