"We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness - and call it love - true love." (Robert Fulghum)
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First day of holiday. I thought it would feel more liberating than that, but apparently I was wrong. I remember how yesterday my colleagues hugged each other tightly, some even crying, because they will probably never see each other again. A few of them took me in their arms too, murmuring that they would miss me, but I know it's not true, and those words are only spoken in vain, to keep up a false appearance. Who would miss a girl with whom they exchanged two words in all eight years?
Jia didn't turn her head in my direction for a second, which I expected, but out of respect for our time together and seemingly wasted, it would have been wise to at least give me one last smile. An honest one, preferably. I was naïve enough to believe it would happen, but the chances were slimming as the headmistress gave her annual speech, which she no longer needed to read from a subtly hidden piece of paper, she thought, and my hopes were dashed with every moment she purposefully positioned her back to me.
When Jia stopped torturing me with her cold demeanor, I was able to breathe in relief. I think the only thing stopping me from leaving early was the slim possibility that she would approach me, for old times sake. Resigning myself, I promised myself that I would stop trusting people, to be cautious in case of similar situations. Jia's one hundred and eighty degree change in behavior was quite the blow, which led me to a good few months of complete isolation, when I stopped going out for purposes other than school or shopping. I find it wise of me to get over it, but steer clear of deceptive people as much as possible. That is, by the majority of the population.
My feelings were very confused and tangled on my way home. I felt joy, ecstasy, indifference and...regret. All mixed like in a cocktail. However, as time passed, all that remained was a lack of interest in my surroundings, so that as I was crossing the street I was thinking of how little care my parents gave me and my brother. As much as I try to blame Hale for his behavior, I can't, knowing that his impatience and arrogance comes from mom and dad giving up on taking care of us. Maybe, in their minds, they are good parents, although I find it hard to believe. How could they lie to themselves so badly? Perhaps. The truth is that in my mind, they are not examples of parents at all, but... anti-examples.
Hale is glad they don't care because "he has more freedom." It suits him, because that's his style: night outings, smoking in front of the house and everything else that means being a "rebel". That's what he likes to call himself. Grandma, the person who stayed with us for countless days when our parents left home, is quite disappointed with the way Hale ended up, constantly complaining about him. She wanted to help him, but he's so stubborn that lately, as he sees her, he's turning his back to her, causing her a lot of pain, but he doesn't give a damn about it. I hope one day he realizes that she loves him and wouldn't wish him harm. I don't understand his logic. Why would you knowingly alienate a family member who you know won't backstab you? I speak from my own experience, even if my experience doesn't have anything to do with family.
