Script Writing System In Modern Family

Chapter 35: Incident (Part 2)

Ryan, Mitchell, and Dede then follow Claire into the living room.
Ryan - "where did Phil and Haley go? They were right here."
Claire - "After you left, Phil and I wanted to go after you, but Haley immediately stormed upstairs, so Phil had to head upstairs to console her."
Ryan - "I see."
Dede - "See, I was right. You never were good with kids. You should have aborted."
Ryan - "Aborted?"
Claire - "Wow, you sure are helping your case right now."
Mitchell - "Mom, let me do the talking."
Dede - "Fine."
Mitchell - "So anyway, mom wants to smooth everything over with dad and Gloria. So I was thinking would it be okay if she maybe joined us for dinner tonight."
Dede - "Because it may be the last time you ever see me."
Claire - "Okay, wait. What are you talking about?"
Dede - "Well, I am moving to a far and dangerous place."
Mitchell - "Canada."
Ryan - "Canada isn't dangerous. Correct me if I am wrong I am pretty sure it's one of the safest places in the world."
Dede - "Oh, have you ever been to Canada?"
Ryan - "No, but I have some Canadian friends."
Dede - "I see."
Mitchell - "Ah, besides. She met a man named Chas."
Dede spoke while taking a seat, "He is a logger."
Ryan - "Like a lumberjack?"
Dede - "No, he logs blood samples into a cholesterol study."
Claire - "I see."
Dede - "Anyway, until I am past this wedding fiasco. I can't be intimate with him."
Claire quickly grabbed onto Ryan's head and covered his ears.
Dede - "We do things to each other. We use our hands."
Claire - "Come on, not in front of Ryan."
Haley suddenly appeared downstairs in the hallway and gasped, "Ryan? Uncle Mitchell? Nana? When did you guys arrive?"
Dede - "Come on here and give me Nana a hug."
Haley comes and hugs Dede.
Dede - "Look at you all grown up."
Haley - "Say that to mom. She won't even let me go to a concert."
Dede - "I know Ryan told me about it."
Dede then started laughing suddenly while returning to her seat.
Ryan - "Why are you suddenly laughing?"
Claire - "Yeah, mom, what's so funny."
Dede - "Oh, karma is a funny thing that's all."
"Remember Ricky?"
Claire - "Oh god."
Haley - "Ooh, who is Ricky?"
Claire is visibly distressed and tries walking away as if running away from her past.
Dede - "Ricky was your mother's boyfriend. He looked like Charles Manson, and one night, she didn't come home until 4 in the morning."
Haley - "Oh wow. Mom, what were you and Ricky doing?"
Claire - "Nothing. We were doing nothing."
"What do you even know about him? He was a sweet boy."
Haley - "Dylan's a sweet boy."
Claire - "Dylan is no Ricky. Ricky was a poet."
Haley - "Dylan writes songs. Awesome songs, and maybe you would know that if you bothered to get to know him."
"Just ask Ryan."
Ryan - "Dylan's songs are indeed straight-up fire."
Dede - "haha"
Claire - "Okay, you know, first of all. I am not my mother. I don't judge people before I get a chance to know them."
Ryan gives Claire a stern and doubtful look.
Claire - "Fine, you know what, you invite Dylan over to dinner tonight, and if he is as sweet and kind as you say. Then I have no problem considering letting you go to the concert."
Haley - "Thank you, thank you, mom."
Haley immediately heads over and hugs Claire.
Haley - "I will go call him."
Dede - "That's very revealing."
Claire - "That's my parenting style."
Dede - "No, I meant your blouse."
Claire - "Mom."
Claire leaves the room for the third time since her mom's arrival.
Mitchell - "Not making this easy are you?"
Ryan feels awkward being left alone with Dede, so he quickly follows after Mitchell.
Mitchell - "Claire, come on, stop, stop, stop."
"Let her come to dinner, apologize to dad and Gloria, and she and Chas can live happily ever after."
Claire - "In Canada"
"Wait, why don't you make her fix this instead of you doing it as usual."
Mitchell - "What's that suppose to mean?"
Claire - "You know mom makes a mess, and there is Mitchel to clean it up."
Mitchell - "That's so not true. If anything, you are the one with a screwed-up relationship with mommy."
Claire - "Wow, you heard that right, Ryan? Mommy"
Mitchell - "No, I didn't say it. Damn it."
Ryan - "Can I say something?"
Claire - "Yeah, please go ahead."
Ryan - "I don't think this is a good idea."
Mitchell - "Here he comes butting in again."
Ryan - "Look it's been a month, but Gloria still brings up the time when I disappeared during that football match."
"How do you think she will feel about someone who ruined one of the happiest moments of her life."
Claire - "You know what, I think Ryan is right. You have to get a clearance from daddy."
Mitchell - "Daddy?"
Claire - "No, I didn't."
Mitchell - "You said, daddy."
Claire starts heading upstairs in embarrassment. As Ryan was heading upstairs to meet with Alex, he gets stopped by Mitchell.
Mitchell - "Where do you think you are going?"
Ryan - "Upstairs."
Mitchell - "No, you are coming with me to help convince dad."
Ryan - "Now, why would I ever do that?"
Mitchell took out a ten-dollar note and stuffed it in Ryan's front pocket.
Ryan - "Did you just try to buy me over with a ten?"
Mitchell then took out a one hundred and stuffed it into Ryan's front pocket.
Mitchell - "Is that enough?"
Ryan - "Wow."
Mitchell - "What?"
Ryan - "I didn't expect this to happen at all."
Mitchell - "So you in?"
Ryan - "No, keep your money. I won't sell out for a hundred."
Mitchell - "How much do you want?"
Ryan - "At least a couple thousand."
Mitchell - "A couple thousand? Are you crazy?"
Ryan - "What, you want me a millionaire to sell out for a hundred?"
Mitchell - "Millionaire?"
Ryan - "Yeah, I am a professional writer and have earned around 4 million on my own. Not to mention my dad, who is a billionaire."
Mitchell - "Alex is dating a billionaire's son?"
Ryan - "You know, just cause of that, I am head to Jay's place and convince him against you."
Ryan quickly headed for the exit.