On Top of the World [Max Verstappen - Book 3]

20

March 2029, three weeks before testing

Well, the good news was...I didn't have to retire.

The bad news was I had seriously fucked up the nerves behind my left shoulder and did indeed have lasting nerve damage. It was eased with a surgery that I flew to the US the day after the race to get and then I spent the entire winter rehabbing in the US and England, spending a stupid amount of time away from my home in Monaco which I hated but I had to sort out the issue so I would be fit to race.

Toto felt so guilty about the whole thing, especially after my doctor got in contact with him to say that under no circumstances was I to get in a car or a simulator until I was cleared to do so. I told him over and over again that no one would have kept me out of that car and I'd do the same again. Which was true however, after discussions with the FIA we were discussing measures so that a driver would not be allowed to do such a thing again. I would also love to say that rehab was easy but ... no. The surgery left me with scar tissue which added to the pain and I had to get a second surgery which put me back to space one in early January.

That led to what I would like to categorise as a minor mental breakdown but realistically would actually be characterised as a major one. I was having therapy phone calls every day with Trijta as I tried to work my way through constantly second-guessing whether or not I should have done that race, especially when it looked like in early February that I wasn't going to be able to race that season. Then one day, everything just turned around and suddenly...there were no more issues.

Okay, that's a lie, just one day the rehab actually began to work and the pain decreased, I was able to begin doing more exercises and eventually got to go back in the simulator and begin training with only three weeks to go until the season started.

"Hi, guys, sorry for being so quiet everywhere...I know you will have enjoyed your break from my face but I've been so so so busy so here's just a quick update video for you all!" I say as I sit on the floor with Senna, Nick and Liv behind my camera. We're at my home in Brackley with a lot of stuff to be done before testing in three weeks in terms of strength, development and simulator training. "First things first, a huge thanks to Liv for keeping you all updated on my health. I know it was a concern to a lot of people and I can confirm that I will be driving for Mercedes this season as planned. I have been in rather lengthy talks with the FIA about future protocol regarding drivers racing with a pinched nerve. We're still figuring out the details but the report and investigation will be posted in full before testing begins. The reason this is happening is..." I take a deep breath in as I try to find a way to explain it. "Honestly...I have really bad lasting damage and have been trying to sort out the issues for the last couple of months. I am lobbying on behalf of driver safety that drivers aren't allowed to drive if this is the diagnosis in the future which I know will seem hypocritical but I've had so many low days as a result that I don't know...it was impossible to get me not to race - you all saw that from Max's attempt but the fact of the matter is that I may never make a full recovery, that's something I have to live with but yeah...it's not going to happen again to anyone else and I want to make sure that's the case. You'll notice I'm not looking as strong or healthy as normal and that's because I'm not. Nick, JC and I are going to begin an intensive training regime to get me back up to race fitness levels before the season begins because I have finally been cleared. The surgical scars and such are closed and my doctor is comfortable letting me get back in the car now because of that. I think that's it...the good news is I will be returning this season, I can confirm that and I'm so ready to get myself back into shape and see you all at tracks all over the world over the next few months!" I wave at the camera as a goodbye and just raise an eyebrow at Liv who nods.

"It'll do, they'll probably edit some of it..." she tells me as she stops recording and I just nod, looking down at my left hand in my lap as I open and close my hand relieved that I no longer have a shooting pain up my arm and neck when I do that now.