CHAPTER ONE- A Last Breath's Decision

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You opened it! which deserves a huge thank you. JazakumuLlahu Khairan. I know some of you are worried about my continuing Marred. Please do not be. I intend to write both books simultaneously In Shaa Allah.

I hope this book reminds us of the fact that our lives may not always go as we plan and that Allah has multiple ways of drawing a servant to Him when He loves the Servant.

Please join Umamah in her journey to Islam, life, love, marriage, career and motherhood.

May Allah make it a beneficial book to all of us. Aaameen.

***
The rain was in a windy turmoil, howling appreciation at the earth. It's heavy downpour was a reminder that there was indeed an Overseer. Why He chose to make life impossible for Umamah was beyond her comprehension. She could not remember if she had ever liked the down pour of rain, it's sound or the smell of the earth due to it. All she remembered when it rained was the day her mother left them without as much as a moment's hesitation. The incidence was as vivid as yesterday in her head.

"Don't do this Surayyah." Her father had begged, holding on to her mother's bags. "Don't leave us!"

"I am tired Sulaym. I am tired of living from hand to mouth, worrying about tomorrow's dish while birthing your children like a chicken."

"But... we... we were happy just yesterday..."

"Ha!" She had snorted with laughter. "No! I have never been happy Sulaym. Being married to you has being the worst decision of my life. Every day I live in misery, thinking everything will change, that you will get your job stabilized, or that you will even let me take birth control pills to reduce our birthing rate, but I know better now than to hope for the impossible!"

"Surayyah, you know I have been trying. Allah just hasn't..." 

"Don't you even dare bring Allah in to this. You mean to tell me that it was Allah that made all your mates rich and able to fend for their families and you poor? That of all your devotion to Him, Allah hates you that much?"

"SubhanAllah Surayyah! Of course Not! It does not behove Allah to hate His creation. And of course, our sustenance has been decreed by Him right from creation, but that's not what I am saying..." He had taken a deep breath and continued, "Ok, I promise to look elsewhere... I will not return home until I have found a better job In shaa Allah..." Her father had pleaded almost breaking down. "Just don't leave us."

Again, she had snorted and said sternly.  "You can continue to deceive yourself Sulaym. But I am done here."

"What about the kids?" Her father had asked pointing towards the inner room from where he knew they had been listening quietly. "Allah has blessed us with three lovely kids... Think about Abdullah who is just 2. Farid is just 4, and Umamah? She has such a long way to go. She needs a mother..."

"Don't even try to pull that card on me!" Her Mom had yelled dropping her bags.

"I told you to let me go with Abdullah. Allah knows, by right they are all supposed to be in my custody. But you refused. Ya Allah! You have even refused to divorce me. And speaking of Umamah..." She glanced at the curtain then and spat out. "She is just a spoilt brat. Everyday, I have had to deal with the looks of disgust she gives me. Sometimes, I wonder if I truly birthed that child. She only loves you Sulaym - which is fine! She can have you! She can learn how to cater for you and her younger ones. After all, I did and I am still standing, aren't I?..."

"UMAMAH! UMAMAH!" Abdullah called rushing into the room and dragging her out of her reverie. "Papa is awake!" He announced breathlessly. Umamah jumped from her chair and rushed into the ward leaving Abdullah to run behind her.

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