Anuj's claim to affection (A Karna-Arjun what-if story)

Conflicted

Karna's pov

"You are just in time, my friend--we are heading west," was what Duryodhan greeted Karna with when he arrived in the palace for the celebration of the end of one of Queen Gandhari's meditations.

"Are we setting up more charity camps?" asked Karna. "It is a good occasion, too, owing to the Queen Mother's celebration."

"Yes." Duryodhan consulted a scroll. "Today will mark our seven hundredth charity camp in two months."

"You are keeping count?" said Karna in amusement.

"Of course I am," said Duryodhan, frowning. "We have covered three fourths of our targeted regions... By the time Pitamah is ready to crown Yudhishthir and we send them to Varanavat, we would have won over the entire kingdom."

An unpleasant weight dropped in Karna's stomach. 

Duryodhan and his brothers, with his help, had thrown themselves into charity over the past few months. Karna had been bursting with pride at his friend's good deeds; he had, out of pride and love, also spread stories of his friend's generosity far and wide.

He had not considered it was being carried out with a purpose in mind.

"What, you forgot your own idea?" Duryodhan slapped him on the shoulder and laughed. "No one will hold us in suspicion anymore. We are becoming as much their favourite as Yudhishthir and Arjun."

"No, I remember," said Karna in a rather hollow voice. "Of course you have become their favourite--why wouldn't you?"

Pleased, Duryodhan linked his arm with Karna's as they headed downstairs to join the group setting off.

*******************

They returned two weeks later from the kingdoms to the west. It had been a productive one. The grateful and devoted chants of their subjects still rang in Karna's ears.

'Long live, Prince Duryodhan! Long live, Prince Dussashan! Long live, King of Anga!'

He tried to keep it in a separate chamber in his brain from the plot of the house of lacquer, because charity must never be defiled with selfish motives--otherwise how could you even call it charity?

It had been difficult to keep them separate, however, when he had travelled and lived with Uncle Shakuni, Duryodhan and Dussashan. The more love they garnered, the wider their grins got and the more intense their discussions of the future of the Pandavas.

Duryodhan would comment light-heartedly on Karna's silence, till one day it blew out of proportion.

"Look, I love you for your dharma, my friend. But you have got to grow up someday."

"Grow up?" echoed Karna. "Should growing up not be accompanied with kinder acts than those of childhood? Children often act without being aware of the consequences; they deserve to be forgiven for their mistakes. But grown ups--especially the royalty, who hold the welfare of their subjects in their hands--they cannot be forgiven for cruel acts."

Duryodhan sounded nettled. "Are you saying Yudhishthir would be a better king than me, Karna?"

"No!" said Karna vehemently. "I do not think so--but as I have told you a million times, I hate this idea."

"You have got fond of that Arjun, have you not?" said Duryodhan, his eyes narrowed in accusation. "I have seen how you go out with him--I have seen you two training those kids together."

"When," demanded Karna, "have I trained kids with Arjun? I only have to go out with him sometimes because Vrushali insists."

"Why does bhabi favour Arjun so much?"