My Broken Spiderboy (tasm! spiderman x reader)

Nothing's Changed

Somehow an hour after texting Peter I found myself at our old high school meeting spot with my old skateboard in hand. Somehow coffee just seemed to far away to wait.

So now here I was, the same place I used to skate with Peter for hours on end when we were younger. I hadn't skated in ages, but it didn't feel right coming over here with Peter without it. Without a symbol of what used to be. When I arrived Peter was already there, his own skateboard sitting beside him on the sidewalk. When he sees me, he smiles and pats the curb beside him next to our tree. I looked around in the crowded park, amazed by how much it hadn't changed in five almost six years.

I looked at Peter who was just watching me watch the world. Again, something that apparently just never changed.

I leaned against my knees and stared out in front of me. "Hi I guess."

"Hi," he smiles.

My heart ached at just the simple words. Everything that had happened in the past, seemed to disappear, and all I wanted was to go back to high school. Back to a time when I could just talk to Peter without hesitation. Where I could tel him everything, and he would just listen.

I opened my mouth to speak, but Peter stops me. "Before you say anything, I want to apologize. I'm sorry for everything input you through. I was grieving, but that was no excuse for treating you like crap. And I'm sorry. Truly I am."

I looked away from Peter, tears coming to my eyes. I wanted to forgive him so so much. But there was a piece of me still fighting, fighting to hate him.

"God I hate you, Peter," I cried. "I hate that even after everything, I just want to forgive you. And I just can't."

"Hey, hey," Peter grabs my shoulders and turns me to him. "As much as I want forgiveness, I do not expect it. I'm not here to convince you to be my friend, I'm here because you needed someone to talk to and I want to help."

I bite my lip and turn from him. "Right."

"So what is going on?"

I lean against my knees, "I don't even know how to explain it. There's just so much I can't tell you, that it wouldn't make since. And everyone I've told, they think I should just pursue him, but they don't understand-"

"Y/n," Peter placed his hand on mine. "Just tell me what you can."

I nod. Everything was falling into place again. I could talk to him. He would understand. Of course he would.

"Well there's this guy," I began, watching Peter knowing this might be a hard subject, but her just sat there intent on listening. "We kind of just met by utter accident. He needed help, and so as a future nurse I couldn't just let him sit by my apartment helpless. I fixed him up, and then we went our separate ways. But then the next day, he had completely undone the stitching and I helped him again. As someone so accident prone, I ended up running into him often. And we've gotten to know each other a lot. And slowly... I guess I've started falling in love with him. But the problem is is that I can't. I can't line him because of his line of work. But I don't want to loose him."

Peter sighs, "That sounds like a mess."

I giggle, "That's an understatement."

"Look," Peter pauses. "I know how you are, and I know that when you put your mind to something you can make it work. So make it work. Let yourself open up to him. Both about liking him and your fears of the danger. And I know that's not what you want to hear, you want me to tell you to stop pursuing him because it's dangerous and stupid. But giving up on love is dangerous and stupid. I know."

I glanced at Peter, the hurt in his voice as he spoke was so evident. But he was right. No matter how scared I was, I owed Spiderman at least an explanation of how I felt.

I grabbed Peter's hand and squeezed it. "Thank you."

Peter stood up, "Of course. Well I gotta get going, but thank you for letting me help."

I watched as he walked, but I hated watching him go. "Wait Peter!"

He turned around.

"Can we start over?"

"What?"

"Can we start over as friends? Just... forget what happened in the past."

He smiles. "Whatever you want."

I stuck my hand out. "I'm y/n."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Peter."