Dirty Little Secret

twenty-six | until someone gets hurt

Lucas

I stand in the doorway of Gabe's bedroom with a racing heart. Not because I was right, but because I was wrong.

Riley is fine.

In fact, she's sound asleep in my brother's bed, in his arms, in his sweatshirt.

And this is the sight I didn't prepare myself to see.

Maybe Corey was right. Maybe this all was just a huge mistake.

I mean, could Riley and I really have a future together?

What would even happen? She breaks up with my brother and then what? Do we start dating out in the open? That would be problematic for everyone.

Gabe would hate me. Lou would be mad at Riley. Riley's family would be disappointed. My family would be upset and it would be awkward as hell for both of us around them.

I was stupid for thinking anything could happen. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I wipe a tear I hadn't realized had fallen down my cheek and walk away.

I can't have Riley. That's a fact.

But I have Corey. Not in the same way, obviously. But he'll help me get past this. He's my best friend overall, and I've been an absolute dick to him all because of a girl that was never mine.

I march down the stairs, with no cares as to how loud I'm being, and tug the front door open.

I write an entire speech in my mind on the drive over, and when I reach Corey's apartment, his roommate answers the door. "Is Corey here?"

Xander nods. "In the shower though." He takes a hit from his joint, looks down at the rolled-up weed, then back to me. "Want one while you wait?"

Oh, fuck it. "Sure."

Xander opens the door further and I step inside. He hands me a joint and a lighter and sits on the couch. I choose the armchair across from him as I light the joint and flip the lighter closed. "Heard you two have been fightin'." Xander drawls.

"I wouldn't call it that. We aren't teenage girls." I point out, bringing the joint to my lips. "I've just been a dick."

"So I've heard." He mumbles.

I take a strong hit from the joint, so strong it hurts my chest for a moment. "What's he told you?"

"Not much." Xander shrugs. "Just that you're fucking someone else's girl." He chuckles dryly. "That's always fun... 'til the boyfriend finds out." He sighs. "It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt-remember that."

I sink farther into the seat, letting my mind become hazy.

What would Mom say to me right now? What would she think if she knew I was still doing this? Still hurting Gabe. Still hurting myself.

It's funny, because the only person who comes out of this unharmed, is Riley.

I hate to think of her this way because she always has been such a sweet, shy girl. But she's the one sleeping with two guys. She's playing both of us. Does she tell him one thing, and then come tell me the exact same words right after?

I mean, does Riley really know anything about me? It seems like I know so much about her, but she hardly ever asks me questions about myself. All we have is sex-and of course, the pillow talk afterward, but that's not real when you put it into perspective.

She says she wants a future with me, but why? She hardly knows me. Why would she want a future with someone she barely even knows?

"What are you doing here?" Corey's voice startles me.