at night

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each star shone brighter than the other, it still smelled of rain and Tenten settled down on the ground, leaning on a tree.

as the sky had cleared, it seemed that her mind cleared with it. Being a shinobi was some stressful business at times, it drains you for sure

but Tenten couldn't help but loving it all the same.

It really felt like the thing she was made to do, even though she is not the best, stands in the shadow of many and still has a lot to learn and become better at.

She isn't talented with Jutsu or is from any renowned clan and she makes mistakes... just like today.

but even so, her weapons are her world and helping people gives her a sense of belonging.

It feels as though she has found her path in life!

And while it would be nothing but a lie if she said it didn't pain her that she makes mistakes, and wasn't strong enough and just isn't the perfect shinobi... another part in her cannot help but feel as though this is what life is.

What would life be if she were perfect? It sure would be nice but it wouldn't be life. or would it be nice? Maybe there are some people who are perfect... or well, seem perfect.

But even those people will have things they aren't satisfied with! It's always like that!

and well she isn't perfect and she won't try to be perfect. She wants to be better. Always better than yesterday. No perfection, Tenten has no time living up to those standards. She will make her own standards and strive up to those. Everyday.

And whenever she thinks these thoughts, it gives her such strength. Such motivation and purpose to keep going.

To not dwell in self doubt too much, but to pick herself up and try better. But of course, this is her theory, real life doesn't always work as easy. There are things that she cannot let go like that so easily... Like the thing with Neji.

Why is she so anxious about her feelings and everything? Who told her it all has to look a certain way and urgh, and what happened to the "I'll just let it pass"?? it's just all so complicated...

While lost in thoughts, enjoying the quiet darkness, familiar footsteps chime faintly from the camp and get louder as they approach.

"can't sleep?" he asked

"No, I just don't wanna sleep yet, it's so nice, the air is nice" Tenten explains to Neji

"Today was a long day, you should get some rest." he says, arms crossed and leaning on the tree

"Then what brings you here?"

"Touche." Neji says defeated

for a while both of them are quiet and feel the night air, or well, Tenten tries to.

Why is being concious so weird? And difficult? Or is it? Is she only making this for herself, can she also do things differently?

And this is when it hit her. She is done dwelling on these feelings and thoughts, these past weeks have only been a few days but they emotionally haunt her. It's nice thoughts but they keep her, whatever if this is what it's supposed to be like!

She doesn't care! If she should enjoy this and just endure it or whatever! She isn't going to do it, maybe she will make a mistake right here and right now but then so be it. Like her theory says, life is there to have and make mistakes. And maybe it won't be one, WHATEVER!

She is going to speak her mind! Now!






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