No Matter What

Starting off with a Bang

"How are you?" my dad asked as we pulled up in front of my grandparents' house.

"I think you know the answer," I said, my voice trembling.

"Do you still want to get it out of the way in the beginning?" I nodded. "Okay. I'll just leave it to you."

We went into the house, carrying lots of boxes full of gifts. My relatives gave us a nice greeting, remembering to only hug my dad, not me. My grandparents were always extra excited to see me, even though my grandpa was super busy rolling around on the floor with my little cousins and my grandma was busy making something heavenly in the kitchen. Her hair was covered by her favorite blue and gold tichel.

I helped my dad put all the gifts we brought in a big pile, which always traditionally sat in the corner of the living room. Annie was on the couch with her fiance, Dawson. I didn't really like him much but he really impressed me when he decided to convert for Annie. Ever since our mom married my dad when she was a preteen, that wedding changed her life. She was dead-set on having a traditional Jewish wedding, and now she was going to get it.

I sat down on the couch, all the way on the end, as far away from Dawson as possible, then prayed that no one would sit next to me. I took out my tangle keychain and watched my little cousins playing with a light-up dreidel on the carpet. This was okay enough.

I actually forgot, just for a second, that I was pregnant and would be telling everyone tonight. I crack myself up.

"Hey, I like that sweater. That looks familiar," Annie said. I noticed the old, beat-up picture book sitting in her lap.

"Because it was Mom's," I said, looking down at my Happy Llamakah sweater. "We were cleaning out some stuff and it was buried under a pile of stuff on dad's side of the closet. No wonder she couldn't find it for a few years."

"Well I'm glad you found it," Annie said.

"So, Ayla...how's school going?" Dawson asked.

"Good," I said, still watching my cousins.

"Hey, just let her stim for now. There's a lot of people and a lot of noise around," Annie said to her fiance.

"Oh, sorry," he said.

"Thanks Annie," I said.

Soon, everyone was here. My dad and sister were catching up with everyone. Then, it was time to light up the menorah. My grandpa lit the first candle and said the three blessings. Whoever was hosting got to light the candle, so a week from now, my dad would light the last candle when everyone comes to our house.

Once the candle was lit, my grandpa sat in his recliner and took over the room, reading from the torah and telling the story of Hanukkah to the little ones while the rest of us listened. Once he was done, it was Annie's turn to take over. For the past few years, Grandpa let her sit in the recliner and read a picture book to the kids.

Annie took her seat and opened the worn paperback book she'd had since she was little. It was a Hanukkah book from a cartoon series that was on when she was a kid, called the Rugrats. She told me it was about these little cartoon babies that went on very elaborate pretend adventures. The picture book had the babies imagining themselves as key players in the story of Hanukkah.

It was so cool to see representation of people like myself and my family in a show from that long ago. That show was on in the 1900s. That was a long time ago.

After that, it was finally time for dinner. Eating for three, when I wasn't nauseous, I was starving. Grandma laid out a big feast, featuring latkes, a brisket, and challah bread. I sat down at the end, like I did at every family gathering. It was so I could be close to the bathroom if I needed to get up and take a break.

We prayed before eating, then it was time to dig in. I filled up a plate with all my favorites, gobbled them down, and then went to the bathroom to take a break. I hung out there on my phone for a few minutes, texting Connor. I told him over and over again about how nervous I was.

You got this babe! Just do it. You'll feel so much better when you finally get this off your chest.

I took a breath and sat down at the table. I must've been in the bathroom longer than I thought, because the desserts were already getting put out. I took two jelly donuts and put them on my plate. As I was eating, I could feel my dad staring at me. I finished my donuts and waited for a break in the large amounts of conversation.

"Umm, can I say something real quick? Sorry to change the subject," I said.

"Everything alright, dear?" asked my Grandma. She knew me speaking up was out of the ordinary.

"I-I'm okay," I said. "I just wanted to say something while the whole entire family is here. I—" You can do this. You can do this. I closed my eyes. "I wanted to tell you all that I made a mistake. A big one. I'm pregnant. I'm carrying really high-risk twins."

I opened my eyes and saw the pale, puzzled faces of my entire family. Everyone was silent, but Annie got out of her seat.

"Ayla, this is not happening right now. I can't believe this. How far along are you?" she asked.

"Umm, eleven weeks," I said. "I know. I let everyone down and I'm really sorry. I'm a failure and an embarrassment!"

"Ayla...I really can't believe this is happening. You need to see this."

Annie came up to me and showed me a picture on her phone. I was confused. I didn't know Dad sent her one. I squinted at the picture. It was an ultrasound of twins, but those didn't look like my mono-mono twins. There was a very clear membrane separating them. These babies were perfectly healthy fraternal twins.

I turned to my family, who was now staring at us both, completely silent, completely confused. Dawson got out of his seat.

"We were going to wait until the last night of Hanukkah to share this with you all," he said, putting his arm around Annie. "She can't believe this because...Annie is also expecting, and it's twins!"

Confusion changed into happiness. Silence changed into celebration. I hugged my sister for the first time in a long time. My dad and grandparents were in tears. This was going to be a Hanukkah the Rosenberg-Green family would never forget, for sure. It was only the first night, and already, we were starting out with a bang.