Discovering the Devil

T h i r t y - s e v e n

XXXVII

PENELOPE could only count a few times where Polly had ever made her feel embarrassed. The number of occurrences could not even fit on one hand. Polly was her soulmate, her protector, her sister. Even when Penelope should've felt ashamed for something she'd done in front of her, the feeling would never come. Now, Penelope could not even look up from her teacup.

"You're supposed to be honeymooning, Pol," Penelope said quietly.

"It's hard to enjoy it when your beau comes asking about you," Polly replied.

"I'm sorry. He shouldn't have done it."

"Don't be sorry, not for me anyway. I'm glad he came."

"I'm not."

"What happened, Pen?"

A lump swelled in Penelope's throat. "I'm sure he's told you."

"I want to hear it from your mouth. I think we both know versions vary from person to person."

"He asked me to marry him," Penelope said stiffly. "I said no."

"I'm sorry."

"Why? I'm the one who ruined everything, it's Harry who you should be sorry for."

"I'm sorry for both of you."

"Don't be."

"You love him."

Penelope looked up from her teacup. "I can't get married."

"I know."

Penelope sighed. "No, you don't. It isn't because I'm afraid of love."

"It's because you're afraid of how love can hurt you. I understand."

"I want to be with him. I insisted that we could be together without matrimony. He wouldn't hear of it."

"He thinks that you don't want to get married because you're afraid he might hurt you."

Penelope shook her head vehemently. "I tried to tell him that wasn't the case, over and over. He wouldn't hear it."

"But...you are afraid of being hurt."

Penelope's eyes welled with tears. "I don't think anybody understands."

"I might not understand you completely Pen, but I will always be on your side."

"I wouldn't blame you if you decided not to—just this once."

"I would never shirk that responsibility," Polly said with mock-seriousness. Penelope released a feeble laugh.

"Is he alright? I mean, I know he can't be...not really. But given everything..."

There were a few minutes of thoughtful silence. "I don't think he's sleeping very well. But I'm sure you aren't either."

"Did he ask you to speak to me?"

"He did. Harry thought I was the only person that might convince you that he wouldn't hurt you."

The words splintered. Penelope buried her face in her hands. "God."

"I tried to tell him that your fear was rooted somewhere else," Polly continued. "I'm afraid he won't believe me, though. Harry has some wounds of his own."

"Yes, I know. I left him a note...I tried...I wanted him to know he was good."

"You both are."

"What am I supposed to do, Pol? How am I supposed to fix it?" Penelope swept away stray tears. "I don't even mean our relationship. He shouldn't feel this way about himself."