Needing You - Sequel to Wanting You

Chapter Twenty Six

Please let this be a dream, please let this be a dream I kept thinking, I opened my eyes and realised this was far from a dream.

It was my hell.

I felt a weight shift behind me and realised Blake was still here, his hand rubbing up and down my side softly.

I moved and rolled over so I was now facing him, he looked like he got no sleep at all, he was still in his work suit, his jacket was over the hair next to the bed, I pulled my arms from underneath the covers and wrapped them underneath his holding onto him tightly.

“what time is it?” I yawned into his chest, I felt him lift his hand to check his watch.

“8:30” he said quietly “I need to talk to you about something that needs to be decided today” his voice broke and I knew what he was taking about.

“don't say it, I just cant think about it” I pleaded with him.

I didn't want to think about it, not now, not ever.

“babe” his voice cracked slightly “I know its hard but we have to talk about it” he sighed rubbing my back in smooth circles.

Half hour later we had chosen to cremate them together, I couldn't even think about having to watch as they would be lowered in the ground that to me was just too hard, too painful to watch the small coffins bring brought out, it wasn't fair.

Blake agreed with me he didn’t want to watch that happen either.

“I kind of punched your dad last night” he said nervously as if he was expecting me to freak out.

“break anything?” I asked looking up into his eyes, “his nose” he replied.

I gave a half smile “good” and then I kissed his dry lips.

There was a quiet knock on the door and the nurse on duty walked in, Blake stood up and sat in the chair looking away as she examined me and gave me another check up, I just stared out the window looking at the ocean “looks all good, there was no tearing so you should only be uncomfortable for a week or so, but I recommend you have lots of baths with Epsom salts to help with healing, now I’ll just remove your catheter this may sting a bit” she said as she put some gloves on, I took a sharp breath as I felt her tug on the cord and pull it out, definitely something I never want to feel again, she walked over to my arm and took out my iv drip “I suggest getting up and having a shower, your husband can help with that, I'll come back a bit later” I looked at her confused, I never said I was married.

I seen Blake smirk at the corner of my eye and gave him a grin, of course he told people that.

I looked at Blake and raised a brow “husband?” I asked.

He grinned “they wouldn't let me in here unless I was family”

I nodded, throwing off my blankets sitting up in the bed more “here, lean on me” Blake stood up taking my hands in his gently lifting me up. I stood up letting out the breath I was holding.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and cried into his chest “if I didn’t say those things she wouldn't of hit me, this is my fault” I muffled into his shirt now wet from my crying.

He pulled back brushing my hair away from my face “don't say that, you didn’t know she would hit you, I'm just sorry I wasn't there for you” he gently kissed my head.

“I don’t have any clothes” I realised as I stepped out of the shower, it felt good to wash all the dried blood off my legs and body, I cried the entire time I was in the shower, I wouldn't let Blake come in, I just couldn’t handle him seeing my body now and I knew he would be disgusted with it, I know I am, I failed at being able to give him children.