I'll save you, Just in time. || A lander story

🕰️ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯 7🕰️

Luke finished getting ready. His nightmare from last night still troubling him. It felt so real, but just didn't at the same time. It was absolutely horrifying, Zanders bloody figure who had basically all his body parts detached. He didn't have to see that,not of his own boyfriend and frankly he wouldn't wish that scene on even his worst enemy. Zander was still under the impression it was his nails that made Luke cry, so despite Luke's constant reassurance that it was ok, he ended up filing down his nails.

Today was tuesday. Three days until the suicide. Would he be able to succeed? Can he keep his one and only love alive? He doesn't need anyone else. He just needs Zander. He presumably only has one shot at saving him, so he has to do it just in time. Start of fourth period on a Friday... just to be safe, he'll head there at the start of third. That way Zander could never beat him to it.

Zanders been hurting himself, he knows he has. While looking for the book yesterday he found numerous blades atop of a bloody tissue. That told him everything he had to know. But he couldn't just bring it up, he didn't know what the effect that would have, that could make Zander change his plan, and maybe he'd jump sooner and Luke would be totally unprepared-!

He shook his head, he was taking too long. He threw on his zipper and swiftly brushed out his hair before heading down the stairs where Zander was cooking breakfast. He came up behind him and peered over his shoulder. He seemed to be making avacado toast. Which honestly didn't make sense considering Zander hated avacado.

"Oh Luke-! There you are! Why don't you have a seat? I'm just making your breakfast the now!"

"Mine? What about yours?"

"I don't need anything."

"..Are you sure..? You never ate last night-.."

"Hm? Yea I did?"

"No- you didn't eat any of our snacks and you didn't eat din-"

"I ate, Luke." Zander said, shooting Luke a warning glance.

Taken aback by the sudden harshness, Luke just nodded. "Alright. I'll believe you."

He didn't believe him, not one bit. Now that he thinks back on it, within the whole week leading up the suicide, Luke doesn't think he saw Zander eat once.. Once again, he didn't want to mention anything, not yet, he couldn't have the plans changing. He knew everything that would happen right now. He needs to keep it that way. He can't confront him until Friday. But it hurts, it hurts to feel stuck like this, watching your love suffer in such a way, and not being able to do anything about it. You know where he's headed, you almost know exactly what he's thinking. But your hands are tied, you genuinely cannot do anything. Luke would give anything to pull him from the tide right there at that moment, but he couldn't. It almost felt like he was allowing Zanders self destructive behaviours, like he was neglecting them. But he knew in the end up, what he was doing now would be for the best.

"Zander? Are you not eating lunch?"

Luke looked over at Zander, worry evident in his eyes. Zander looked back at him and they made eye contact. The look in Zanders eyes made Luke feel uneasy. It was a glimpse of guilt, he looked away, seemingly ashamed, but then found determination again as he looked back at Luke.

"No."

"No?" Luke repeated, feeling a pang in his heart. Usually Zander would always have a chicken salad, that was his go to, he made it himself the night before school and brought it in everyday. It was quick and it was easy. And healthy, Zander liked healthy meals. 'It doesn't make him feel icky and greasy' he would say.

"No, I need to cut back." He shrugged.

"..It's a salad-"

"Every little counts!" Zander smiled.

He felt guilty for eating a salad?..a salad.. really..? And he was talking as though what he was saying meant nothing, but once again Luke couldn't intervene. He was basically watching him drown...and he had been, for months apparently. Had he been that negligent of a boyfriend that he couldn't even notice the slightest thing wrong? Did he not pay him enough attention? Zander wasn't even doing a good job at hiding it...was anyone giving him enough attention..? Enough love..? Before Luke could start crying again, he hugged Zander from behind once again. It seemed to be his go to position to stop himself crying.

"Ah- you're hugging me a lot lately..- everything ok..?"

Asking if Luke was ok despite everything he has going on. It made Luke feel sick to his stomach. Whereas throughout the whole period of his struggles 4 years ago, he didn't ask him once if everything was ok with him. Maybe Zander was right, maybe he did lack comprehension skills, but maybe that dives a bit deeper than simple English textbook work. Luke just nodded as he kissed his neck. Not asking him if he was ok, once again fearing that the smallest act of notice would send Zander into a downward spiral. He couldn't risk anything. So he kept it as it was. This was his last chance. He wasn't going to let Zander go, not this time. He doesn't care what he has to do or how he does it. Zander will stay, he'll live...he has too...

"You've been acting bizarre lately- you're so much more affectionate.."

"Are you complaining?"

"No-! Of course not! I'm just curious-!"

"No need to get so defensive honey, I was only joking." Luke kissed his shoulder, earning a scoff.

He'd save him, he knew he would, he had too. He couldn't live with himself if he let his life slip through his fingers for a second time.