RIPTIDE | Rafe Cameron

55. 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘭, 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘥

The journey back to the Outer Banks was tough, I could barely look Pope in the eye, knowing that Rafe had lied to me and in turn I'd passed those lies onto my friends, leading them to a fake cross.

They all assured me that they don't blame me, that they know this was down to Rafe, but in my heart I know that I'm at fault for believing that Rafe would be honest with me about something like the cross. I texted him last night, telling him that I'd had a few too many drinks so I'd be staying at the chateau, which he seemed fine with. I suppose it's easy to be fine with anything after you've just jacked a seven foot cross that your father was preparing to donate to a museum.

But for now we're back at the chateau, sitting around having been reunited with John B and Big John. It was surreal to see Big John in person, and I could tell that he was hesitant about me compared to the rest of the Pogues. He's been keeping Sarah and I at arm's length since we got back, and somehow it doesn't surprise me after everything Ward Cameron put him through. But on the other hand, Sarah and I aren't just an extension of that, we're not the same as Rafe and Ward, we've simply been left carrying the Cameron burden.

I'd have gone back to Tannyhill sooner, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to face it. I also feel bad leaving the pogues to go and clear up my own mess, even if that means I'm using it as an excuse not to face Rafe.

"Yeah, so we went to the archives in Charleston," John B tells us, regarding his trip with his father to follow a lead about El Dorado as we sit around the unlit fire pit, "It was...it was a dead end."

"So that's the gold, the cross, and now El Dorado, we're three for three, guys," Pope announces before tossing his empty beer can at a tree with frustration, perfectly encapsulating the mutual feeling of defeat amongst the group, "The streak continues."

"We're not on the right side of rock bottom anymore," I mutter, pulling my legs up to my chest and resting my chin on my knees.

"See you, John B," Kiara sighs, following after Pope and Cleo.

"I'm going fishing, thanks for the beer," JJ sighs before glancing at me, "You need a ride?"

"Yeah," I smile as he holds a hand out to me, pulling me up from the ground before I glance at John B and Sarah, "See you guys in a bit."

I follow JJ down the path towards his old dirt bike from tenth grade, since his recent bike has been completely and utterly written off, its remains still in Wilmington.

"Jayj," I mutter as he climbs onto the bike, "Can you do me a favour?"

"Sure," He nods half heartedly as I climb onto the bike behind him, "Fire away."

"Can you take me to Tannyhill?" I ask, quickly realising how stupid it sounds, relieved that JJ's back is to me, yet noticing the way his muscles tense up at the mention of the Cameron residence.

"You really want to go back there?" JJ glances at me, "After everything that's happened?"

"I have to," I tell him as he revs the engine and we begin to speed towards the main road, "I have to know what's happening with the cross, I have to know why he lied to me."

"You know that asking him why he lied puts you at risk though, right?" JJ remarks, concern glazing over his face, "He'll know that you were helping us."

"JJ, I've got nothing to lose," I assure him, feeling defeated before Rafe and I have even had the conversation, "Literally, nothing."

"You'll be okay though, right?" JJ asks, flitting his eyes between me and the road, "If at any point you feel like you need a fix, please tell me."

It hurts that at the idea of me being emotionally distraught his first thought is that I might relapse, but I know that it's what everyone thinks. I see it in everyone who looks at me when I'm not presenting as happy, they think I'll spiral back into that place and be the girl I've worked so hard not to be again.