The courting trap

The Village

I'm sat across from Nicholas at the dining table, we're eating breakfast but I am once again not hungry. I swear this man is going to make me loose so much weight.

After what happened in the library yesterday I felt disgusting. I feel impure.

What if I am pregnant? Mother never explained how it happened in detail, but all I know is that when a man and woman get really close, they get pregnant. And that is what we did.

Maybe I feel so nauseous, because I am pregnant.

Nicholas kicks my foot with his. He knowingly smiles at me, I can't look at him any longer and stare at my filled plate again.

He kicks me again, I whip my head up and frown 'stop' I mouth. He has this playful smile on his face as he takes a bite of his bread.

I roll my eyes. He kicks my foot again. This time I have had it.

I stomp on his foot. "Ow!" He yells as his knee hits the table in response.

The whole table goes quiet and everyone stares at us.

"Clumsy little Nicholas." I laugh trying to make the situation less awkward and it is not working. Luckily everyone goes back to eating.

He looks at me in question. "We need to talk." I whisper.

"Yes good idea!" Mother says. "Why don't you two go for a walk." How does she hear everything?

It's now noon.
I got dressed in something a little more casual and met up with Nicholas. Instead of my usual yellow cloak, I decided to lend a brown one from one of the maids. It is less striking.

"New cloak?" He asks.

"No, I just don't want everyone to recognise me as royalty."

"Who is everyone? I thought we were just going to take a stroll around the gardens."

"You'll see." I say coldly. There are ears everywhere here,  I can't talk about what happened here.

"Wait I will be right back." After a few minutes Nicholas arrives back, he is now also wearing a commoner cloak and has taken off his top hat.

"Great." I start walking off before he catches up to me.

"What is going on Vic? Why are you acting like this." I stop in my tracks. Vic? He has never called me that.

I start moving forward again. "You know, Nic." I emphasise his name.

"If I knew I wouldn't have asked."

I stay silent. Is he really going to make me say it.

He grabs my upper arm and urges me to stop, turning me to fully face him. "Just tell me what's going on, please."

He is saying 'please' now?

I sigh. "You know what happened yesterday..." I trail off, hoping he is catching what I mean.

"Yes?" He asks like it's a daily thing that happens. "Do you regret it?" His hand slides off my arm.

"No." I reply a little too quickly. "I just..."

"You just what?" He looks at me so sincerely.

"I just feel disgust." I cover my face with my hands.

"Wow thank you."

"No not you!" I grab his hand. "Me."

"You feel disgusted by yourself?" He sounds totally baffled.

"Yes!" I cross my arms and I feel my lip starting to quiver. I bite down on my cheeks to stop the tears from flowing, they last thing I want to do is cry in front of him. He'll see me as weak and pathetic, and I am everything but those things.