THEREFORE I AM [Completed]

Chapter Nine

Eli
Now, 2078

I prepared some lightly browned toast and spread a generous amount of honey on top. Benny expressed her appreciation, sitting at the small dining table. Cutting the toast into triangles, as she preferred, I placed it in front of her and took a seat opposite. When she asked how I was feeling, I paused to gather my thoughts on how to answer. On one hand, I did feel better, somewhat weightless, but on the other hand, I was torn. Torn between joining the cause or not. Despite Saul's assurances of peace, my logical analysis pointed to a high likelihood of my death, and faintly hinted at Benny's as well. I recoiled at the mere possibility. Was it worth sacrificing our lives? Or would we end up as just another set of minds trapped in the Network's torture rooms? More importantly, could I bear the responsibility of putting Benny in one of those rooms? Would Mother offer any assistance? Whoever she was?

"Do you believe in God?" I asked, breaking the silence.

She took another bite of her breakfast, slowly closing her eyes to savour the flavours. Our connection felt... conflicting. She was the Human who forced my hand in committing a heinous act, the one who sometimes despised me and pushed me away. Yet, we also had moments like this, where she was calm and asked about my well-being, like an old friend. "When you've seen what I have seen, you don't have the luxury of believing in a God, or at least not one that loves you."

"Have you heard of Mother?" Benny twitched slightly.

"I have. It's not something commonly heard around here. God is for the fortunate ones who still hold on to hope. I, unfortunately, have none of that," she concluded, taking the last bite. I sensed a shift in the atmosphere, though I couldn't quite pinpoint it. Was it tension? It felt different. "Now go, clean or do something," she ordered. Ugh. She was perplexing.

"Why do you do that?" I struggled to control my disappointment and anger.

"What?" she retorted.

"You go from being a friend to acting like a master within minutes. I understand emotions are difficult to manage, but they shouldn't fluctuate like that." The change in her expression made me realise I had crossed a line. Benny stood up, wagging her finger in my face.

"You don't know shit about emotions, boy." She paused, as if calculating her next words. "I'm not your friend or your master. You are simply here because my daughter forced me, you are simply a..." Benny suddenly looked around in a panic, her angry expression shifting to fear. "Who are you?" Wide-eyed, she grabbed the nearby phone. "I'm calling the police. Where's Eli?" I tried to take the phone from her, but I felt a sharp impact against my face. Benny screamed in agony and dropped to the floor, clutching her hand that had collided with the hard steel bones of my face. "My hand is broken! My hand is broken! Go away!" Tears streamed down her face as she wailed at me. Looking at her hand, I could see that it was fractured, causing her significant pain. I attempted to approach her so I could help, but it only fuelled her fear, and she screamed at me to leave. "Eli! Eli! Help!" But she was not calling for me; she was calling for her deceased husband. I made it sound like I ran out of the front door, but instead, I hid in the bathroom. She was too far gone for me to assist. I should have recognised the signs earlier and understood that she was on the brink of an episode, but this one had come out of nowhere. I alerted Reggie and the paramedics while listening intently in the other room, making sure she was safe, at least. The kitchenette offered no objects for her to harm herself with, and it seemed she was sitting down anyway.

The paramedics arrived promptly, and I moved out of their way. The Android paramedic asked me to confirm my presence there, as Benny continued to vehemently deny my involvement. I placed my fingers on the paramedic's temple and shared my identification. She expressed gratitude and advised me to stay out of the way for a while. I found a spot on my bed and allowed myself to recharge. Not a friend. Not an employee. Not even a slave. Right now, I couldn't even assist her. What was my purpose there?