Chapter 27 - Deal

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Xu Bai Chuan felt like he was in a dream as he sat inside the taxi.

Back in senior high, Cheng Xu didn’t reveal his tendency of liking men. The first time that he saw him with a man was at an event where Xu Bai Chuan intended to curry favor with Tang Jin’s friends. It was only then that he knew Cheng Xu actually didn’t mind men or women.

But he never considered himself, after all, Cheng Xu had a vile attitude towards him.

Just a moment ago when he rejected him without giving a sliver of hope, Cheng Xu went from losing control to sobriety, as if the words he just spoke were a strange joke. Cheng Xu certainly proved to have comparable acting skills as him since Xu Bai Chuan couldn’t distinguish whether he put on a show at the beginning or end. However, regardless, it was enough for him to keep his distance from Cheng Xu.

After turning down the offer to be given a lift, the two separated downstairs. In the elevator going down, Cheng Xu suddenly asked him out of the blue, “Is timing that important?”

Xu Bai Chuan pondered about whether he should guess the answer Cheng Xu wanted to hear and then say the opposite, but there was no need for that. He replied, “Yes.”

This question is the same as asking about chance and fate. Of course chance isn’t equal to fate, but in the finite lifespans of humans, as long as we cannot verify this inequality, then there is no distinction between them. Timing is also the same. A person who holds onto an opportunity and one that lets it go walk down different forks in a road. Even if the destination ends up being the same, we aren’t even able to see that day, so the saying different routes to the same destination is meaningless.

It was useless to overthink things. Indeed, there are thousands upon thousands of roads, but there’s only a single chance to walk down one. Therefore, people should stop pondering on the if and just enjoy the present.

Cheng Xu didn’t speak again until the elevator opened. The moment that Xu Bai Chuan stepped out, he said from behind him. “The offer I just made, I’ll keep to my word forever.”

Xu Bai Chuan didn’t turn his head and said, “I’m the same.” Then he left the neighborhood.

After sitting down inside the car he had called in advance, it drove away from the roadside. Xu Bai Chuan thought that regardless of whether Cheng Xu expressed his true feelings or it was another unfunny joke, he could only do so much.

The cold weather didn’t ward off the passion of youngsters. 8 p.m. was the time for many movie showings to begin and end. Women dressed in coats with wavy and curly hair could be seen everywhere in all the squares. Every step they walked, their hair would flutter after them, as if they were following dance steps, graceful and beautiful. Xu Bai Chuan thought: ‘How much better will it be if I liked women.’

The car stopped at Henghu Imperial Garden.

After getting off the car, Xu Bai Chuan walked into the hotel while scrolling through his phone to find that number. Then he texted:【I’m here.】

After waiting for a while, he didn’t receive a reply so without any other choice, he found the floor and room number from the text that was sent beforehand. He knocked once he arrived at the door.

Almost a minute after Xu Bai Chuan started knocking, Tang Jin opened the door from the inside and was taken aback when he saw him. The dejectedness emanating from his being vanished in a puff of smoke. Looking on from top to bottom, his line of sight rested on Xu Bai Chuan’s hands. Gripping onto his hands, Tang Jin pulled him into the room while saying, “Why are your hands so cold? Why’d you come so late?”

In order to get out of that room with Cheng Xu, the car had yet to arrive so Xu Bai Chuan’s hands became frozen rigid when he waited outside the neighborhood. Moreover, the heating inside the taxi wasn’t sufficient and it was a chilly walk from the taxi to the hotel. He only began to regain warmth after he entered the hotel. Being unaware of it all along, he only realized that he was indeed quite cold the moment Tang Jin’s warm hands held onto his all of a sudden.

Xu Bai Chuan didn’t struggle and followed him into the room. He thought: ‘Wasn’t it you who made me come?’

Drawing his hands in, both of Tang Jin’s hands rubbed and enveloped his hands twice. He also breathed into them, then frowned as he asked, “Do you want to take a shower?”

As he looked at Tang Jin from such a close range, Xu Bai Chuan’s heart felt sour and swollen from being treated so tenderly by him like this. Unable to find the words to describe his current emotions, he merely scolded himself inwardly for becoming more and more effeminate due to his slight urge to cry at this moment. Having no choice but to bear this aching feeling, he said, “No need. I’ve already showered.” Then he retracted his hands and pushed Tang Jin away. After taking off his thick and heavy jacket and throwing it onto the sofa, he held onto Tang Jin’s shoulders and leaned in as he took a step forward to kiss him.

Tang Jin discontentedly frowned when he was pushed away. He never thought that Xu Bai Chuan would kiss him the next moment and was at a complete loss as both hands froze in midair. After he came to, he quickly seized back the initiative. Slipping both hands into Xu Bai Chuan’s short black hair from beside his ears, he cupped his face and threw himself into the kiss.

The area from Xu Bai Chuan’s back to scalp felt numb. As if very cold, he couldn’t help shivering. Tang Jin realized this but instead of letting go, he pressed Xu Bai Chuan even closer to his chest. The desire to monopolize, happiness and thick longing spilled from his lips and overflowed, but was unable to be transmitted in the least to Xu Bai Chuan’s heart.

Unable to resist this aggressive kiss, Xu Bai Chuan slightly turned his head to gasp, but was quickly kissed by Tang Jin again.

Once the kiss ended, rather than letting go of Xu Bai Chuan, Tang Jin closed his eyes. Drawing their foreheads together, he rubbed their noses against each other and kissed Xu Bai Chuan’s eyes.

Whenever he moved a bit, Tang Jin would hold him close. Opening his eyes, Tang Jin met eye to eye with him, then suddenly raised a hand to cover his eyes. Speaking in a tone like he was settling a score, he said, “Didn’t you say you don’t want to see me anymore?”

The force embracing him was too great, leading to an illusion to arise within Xu Bai Chuan’s mind: Maybe Tang Jin really did miss him. But that illusion exploded like fireworks and its embers slowly fell. The few chilly lines from that unknown number made him clear-headed in a flash. His hand followed the direction of Tang Jin’s waist and lowered to between his legs. Tang Jin’s breath lagged and he alarmingly said, “What are you doing¹?”

That dormant place rapidly swelled. Xu Bai Chuan smilingly said, “Me.”
[T/N: 1 You isn’t stated in the Chinese text. It reads more like: ‘Doing what?’ but that sounds strange in English. 干 also means fuck which is why XBC says ‘me’]

Tang Jin’s face reddened and his movements paused. Then he suddenly carried Xu Bai Chuan, walked towards the bedside, and placed him down on the bed with his hands supporting both sides of Xu Bai Chuan’s body. As if he didn’t know how to cherish him, he carefully gazed at Xu Bai Chuan and his grip on the bedsheets tightened, before slowly leaning down.

Unable to stand that gaze that easily made people delusional, Xu Bai Chuan suddenly reached out and pressed a hand against Tang Jin’s stomach. He said, “Last time.” A few more times and the difficult decision he made to leave will waver.

Tang Jin halted and puzzledly questioned, “What?”

Xu Bai Chuan: “For the sake of our seven years together…” Immediately thinking that the wording was inappropriate, he corrected himself. “For the sake of staying by your side for seven years, do whatever you want to me, just let go of Luo Junyu.”

“Luo Junyu?” Motionless, Tang Jin finally realized what that lingering eerie feeling was.

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