King of my heart

part 11- for me

Today's the first day of school and my breakup with Nate was already a week ago. Time passes so slow nowadays without him and my family.

Yesterday I brought Lucas' things to his house and I was greeted very kindly by a girl in a bra that I had never seen before.  I know it's none of my business (and that I should start doing it ASAP). Actually it would be perfectly right and fine for him to get a life if he didn't message me everyday telling me that he knew how badly he treated me. I mean, if you are getting a new life with other girls then not tell me that you feel very bad about our breakup because I struggle to believe it. It's a way of hypocrites and here I'm the first. I still feel guilty for comparing Nate to his father so casually, and I'm ashamed of it.
After the message I sent him he didn't reply to me and today he arrived at school alone, thus forcing me to drive to school alone even though his mother had asked him (actually ordered but never mind) to take me to school in his car. Not that there's anything wrong with going to school alone but I felt bad about it. He's trying every way to avoid me.

I had a headache for all day and now I have cheer practice. I'm cheerleading captain and I have thought about the new choreography since last month. I'm very proud of the result of it but I guess I can't dance in these conditions. I'm not well at all and with every step I take I feel like a bullet in the head. Is this what I deserve for my mistakes? Because if so I better accept it. Well maybe I deserve even worse.
Nate's playing basketball with Lucas and Austin too. Austin entered the team last semester and he's actually good. Who would have ever expected this huh? He's such a shy guy that this morning when he told Brooke and me that he had found a girl on holiday we were almost surprised, even though he's a nice guy. Her name's Ashley Clark and based on the pictures Austin showed me she's really pretty and has a kind face.

Nate's soles twitching every time he makes a basket or his worried look intent on stealing the ball from his opponent turns me on quite a bit. Not to mention his back is so strong, always ready to score more points. His sweaty hair... messed up by the wind caused by the speed of his run. I miss him, a lot. I notice that both Austin and Brooke are staring at me while I'm looking at player 23, my player. I see them worried, they know how bad I feel for him and they also know that I'm too proud to confide in them my worries and feelings.
The headache gets worse so I run to my duffle bag and I take the medicine that's always in there. I get back to cheer practice but I can't notice any improvement. Oh gosh I guess I'm gonna faint but I can't leave the gym, it's too important and there's everyone here. Plus, I'm the captain and I have to show my new choreography to the coach. I just can't leave now.
I start to see everything blurred, and I can't answer Brooke's calls asking me if I can accompany her to the bathroom. I can't even walk normal. Those days are getting worse every second. I no longer feel my legs but on the other hand my arms and head feel very heavy. Furthermore, my eyes burn more than they should and I think it's due to all the stress of these weeks. Everything around me is spinning, I feel like I'm in a disco with the lights shining in my eyes and the music blaring in my ears, making me feel nothing. The pain just can't let me alone, it just can't go away. No one is noticing but Instantly I see Nate running towards me. So he cares about me? Did he understand that I'm sick? Maybe it's a hallucination. His face is the only clear thing I can still see while his body is blurry to my eyes, but beautiful as ever.

I fell, I fell on the floor. at least that's what I think, I'm fainting. but Nate, Nate Scott got me. He arrived in time for me. I'm in his arms, the best place in the world. I don't know if this will ever improve our situation or if it's just out of kindness and respect but... I love him.
Really too much.