mere love and hate

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the affection i had was too much to bear
i didn't grow up with the most loving parents
when i was being clingy, i was shooed away
when i was showing emotions, i'm dramatic

yet i grew up trying to understand
what a tough love means from my very roots
i tried so hard to compensate with their lacks
now that i am an adult, i'm not able to cry

i wasn't allowed before to cry on my mama's
i wasn't allowed to be a vulnerable child
i am the eldest, i should be firm and steel
but i was just a child craving for an embrace

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