My personal diary

Chapter-1

Forgot to write these days. I want to tell something that happened today. She is so condescending the friend with whom I have been sitting from the first day. I will finally reveal her name, it is Sanah. One time I said to her that the way she did her question was wrong she said it's alright. She didn't let me correct her. She said she is right.

And it somehow feels every fucking time that she looks down on me and I hate that feeling. It is shit and no one should ever experience this fucking bull crap that I get from her. Our physics teacher said when you are solving questions you should always focus on your work and you guys should not discuss the work given to you guys. And I did the same for two reasons I want to get better at understanding these numericals and I didn't want to talk to her because I was fucking pissed at her.

You will be thinking that what changed in these few days that I am talking so bad about Sanah. Well, let me tell you dear reader what happened.

After 2 days of us sitting together she said that we are friends, we will definitely roast each other, always and shit like that. It is like she us giving me a warning that if I say something that offends you, don't mind it and move forward. And the next thing you know she is commenting on how I should study, how I should talk and how I should do every fucking thing in my life.

I want to tell you reader what happened in the past 4 or 5 days.
I met a boy who sent a friend request and I accepted the friend request. Not to brag or anything but his body was a 10 and his personality was also a 10. He lives in the same state as me but far away. I saw his images and when I tell you his body was sculpted, every inch of it, every fine muscle of his bicep and abs flexing in every picture I saw of him. It was all subsided with the genuine smile he had and the gleam of ambition in his eyes. Although I am a reader myself, Just for once I wish that this was a picture book to show you what I could decipher just from his photos.

He is four years older than me. Every conversation that we had, I imagined him being by my side and speaking every kind words in front of my face, caressing me with every joke he made that made me laugh.

I wanted him to be there for me and I for him.

You guys could imagine if I am praising him for just our conversations that we had online.

The next day, he asked me to show my face or send him a photo. He filled the chat with cheesy lines just so I could show him my face.

I said I just want to be friends so he should know only my personality, nothing else.

I started to imagine his all kinds of reactions if we ever called.

Apparently that came true, He texted when I was free so we could talk on the phone. I set a certain date and time for our call. I couldn't call him. I don't know the reason. Actually, I do I thought what if he was disappointed. All the what ifs crowded my brain and my finger lingered on the call button for just five minutes before the screen of my phone went dark. After 4 hours or so he texted questioning why I did not call. I did not answer him.

You would think that I messaged him back and we lived happily ever after. But as you should know by now I am telling my story as we progress. All the dates and timings are happening in the real life of Ivy (me). So my life is not a fairy tale. I blocked him. The end. Nothing else happened.

The pressure got to me as I was talking to another boy simultaneously. He also flirted with me a lot but I did not know who he was or anything about him. One day in this drama, I was texting the first boy and then the Second boy.

I could not handle the guilt of this. I thought this was kind of cheating. Even if I was only friends with them. I just hate the thought of cheating.

SPECIAL NOTE
You would be thinking that how her emotion changes every 2 paragraph.

It would look like that to you but I am telling you my information on what happened in these is mixed and in real life, it is spread over days.

Even though it is spread over days it is true that my emotion change a lot.

As a person who doesn't show much to people. The burst of stories, feeling and emotions is fleeting. If you meet me in real life I would be the same.