My personal diary

Chapter-2

20.04.24

I am telling you that it is a real disease.

Yes well I don't give these extra information. We just keep quiet we don't want to listen to this bullshit and show off ,a girl behind me said

And it isn't like I didn't know her I knew her from when we were childhood friends but now she treated me like a mere stranger or at best a colleague.

That spoiled my mood a little. But you know life goes on.

First of all I told that boy's story to my two best friends let's call them, P and H.

When I was telling them about the boy who I blocked. I was practically drooling all over the phone. My breath was caught in my lungs that couldn't come out. I took two raspy breaths at a time while telling them. We talked for hours that felt like seconds passing in an instant. I wanted to tell them every inch about what was going on in my life but tomorrow was my first exam so I had to study.

21.04.24

Aah!!,  I tried to muffle my screams. I don't know why whenever I cried I muffled my crying and screams. Actually I know but that's story for another day that you can tell me if you want to know the story.

Pain pain pain. Study study study

I was revising for 2 hours before my exam as I slept early.

Later in my institute, can you please buy me this, she said. I will pay you back for sure. I finally gave in and bought Sanah an expensive snack that was way out of my pocket money but sure that's what friends did right.

I gave my exam yay, atleast I can score above average. I guess that is not that bad for first time for me atleast.

22.04.24

It's been 3 weeks since everything started. Today passed in a blur.

23.04.24

Okay I am panicking I don't want another friend who copies me in everything I do. I don't want another friend who is so deprived and insecure of being left behind that she interferes and copies everything I do. It is so problematic.

If I were to tell you my previous bestie used to cut between every time I used to talk to someone new and tried to make new friends. If I was sharing a similar experience of mine with someone new to find a common ground where I could be friends with that person. She would cut between and try to lie to that person about that experience that she had. I knew she was lying but the only reason was she was my first friend in that school. It is shitty to feel that way ever.

She is copying the way I post my stories and the way I behave with other people.

Don't want this trauma shit. She even copied how I talk with everybody even Sanah's personality is completely different.

There us the other shy girl I told you about she changed her appearance and now thinks she is all that. Her attitude towards us changed a lot.

Now Sanah came crawling back like I didn't know that.

27.04.24

Well well well, look who came crawling back but still trying to shut me out.

I am usually a not very bad or harsh person but Sanah hurt me a lot. As you can see when I use such condescending language myself.

It is just that it just hurt me, okay.

This is just a very hard transition period.

Now our results for our exams were out and she got last rankings.

She said she didn't want to tell her ranking when I told her mine. But she didn't know I did see her ranking.