Misery Blues

Chapter 21 - The Panic Attack

It feels as if the ground disappears from under me as I fall to my knees, my body starts to shake and I can't control my emotions. Memories come flashing back as I start to remember who this man was. Zach Deltar was David's best friend, or something along those lines. The good thing, he would only come over once every three or four months, the bad thing? He was nearly as bad as David was. 

I met him the same day I met David, but unlike David he looked at me strangely from the day we met. I was only a little kid, but when he bent down to meet me eye level, he looked terrifying. His words were sickly sweet and his smiles made me break into shivers. I always had a bad feeling about him, from the moment he opened his mouth. He wasn't an ugly man, and If I had just seen him randomly on the street before hand, I wouldn't think anything of it. 

He never really beat me up, like David did. And though it wasn't as frequent, his torture seemed to go on for so much longer. In reality - he wasn't very hurtful. He touched me softly, carefully as if I might break - and sometimes, if he would come after I was beaten really bad by David.... He wouldn't touch me at all, and would actually get into a fight with him. That's what scared me, sometimes it looked like he actually cared a little about me. I didn't like him though, he....terrified me, hell, I think David was even scared of him. 

It was the way he held himself, it was as if his smiles were all masks to hide his real face. The face of a psychopath. 

Sometimes, he would hold me close to him and whisper words that not even some of the most loved people hear from their significant other. It scary, It was as if he possesed me - like I was his belonging. The days I knew he was coming, I would try to run away - go to the library or the park for several hours, anything to not have to go home.... But, he would always know where I was, he would always find me and I don't know how he did it. I would never even go to the same place twice. 

"Roni?" 

"Veronica?" 

"RONI!" 

"Huh?" I look up at my brother with wide-eyes and his face seems to contort into one of rage. Lexi and Martin are both standing close to the door with worried expressions.

"What's it say?" He holds out his hand, "Let me see it."

"N-no, it...it's nothing." I try to put the note behind my back, but he grabs my arm.

"You can't say it's nothing, with that face. You look like you've seen a ghost." Denton rips the note from my fingers and reads it, his voice coming out in small mumbles, but as he gets half way through he shuts up. His eyes go into small slits as he tries to process what he reads and I watch as a blood vessel seems to protrude out of his neck. 

"What the fuck is this!?" He seethes. "Whose Uncle Z, and why did he write this stupid ass poem." 

I look at the floor and put my hands in my pockets. 

"Roni, David...He wasn't the only one who hurt you?" My brother holds my chin and forces me to look in his eyes. "Is that what this means, that David wasn't alone?"

"That's his friend." I mumble, "Zach Deltar, you were never home when he came over." 

I watch as something flashes through his eyes, guilt maybe. I shake my head and step away from him.

"He started coming over before mom died, once every few months. He never touched me, until a year and a half ago - but before that he would always give me little gifts and stand a little to close. I don't know how he always ended up coming on days you weren't here. Sometimes David wasn't even here, and he would be. He scared me." I feel my body start to shake again and I wrap my arms around myself, tears pouring freely now. "Please, I don't...I don't want it to start again. I don't want it to happen, don't let him hurt me, please!" 

I slide down against the wall, my sobs loudly filling the air. My body shakes and my breathing comes out heavily, and It's getting hard to breath. I clutch my chest, urging myself to calm down, but I just can't. My throat closes up and my body starts to shake. This isn't real, this isn't real. 

It's supposed to be over. 

"Denton, dude!" Martin runs up. "She's having a panic attack."

David's gone, I shouldn't have to deal with this.

"Wha- How do I make her stop?" Denton asks frantically. Martin just rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

Through squinting eyes, I watch as Martin pushes Denton out the way, he orders hi to do something, but my heart is beating so loud it is getting harder to hear them. I put my hand to my chest and lean against my knees. I fel pressure on my shoulder and see Martin staring at me. 

"Roni, listen to me." He squeezes my shoulder, almost reassuringly. "Take deep breaths, you need to calm down. Everything is going to be okay."

I feel something cold against my neck, and flinch hard. I watch as Martin slaps Denton's shoulder and grabs a water bottle from him. My breathing isn't coming out in rough spurts anymore, and I can feel my body starting to relax. 

"Drink this, slowly - we don't want you to choke." Martin hands me the water bottle and with shaky hands I bring it to my lips.The cool water seems to calm me down even more, I slump against the wall as silent tears fall down my face.

"I'm sorry, sorry." I wipe my face. "I over-reacted."

"No, you didn't." Lexi kneels down infront of me, wiping off a stray tear. "After everything you've...been through, it makes sense that you would have a break down. You have been so strong on the outside, none of us knew how you were truly feeling. You don't have to worry, he wont get to you. Denton, Martin, Me and even Roxas, none of us will let any more harm come to you." 

She wraps me in a tight hug.

"Thank you." I sniffle, hugging Lexi back ten times as tightly.

 and I can't help but feel, now more than ever, that I am no longer alone. That I have a family - yeah, I might not be in a safe position, but right now I feel more safe than I have ever felt before. Even if they don't know what is going to happen or how scary Unc- I mean, Zach really is...

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& Roxas doesn't even know yet! *GASP!*  How do you think he will take it? Worse than Denton? 

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