fri[END]s | BTS

기대

Hi my friends. It's me again. It's been a long time, since I last saw you. All this time I thought about you. I didn't forget. I told you I will keep a promise, even if I am not capable of doing it. No one can decide how much I can handle except my own self. It's just me who will choose for how long I will stick with you. And I have already made a final decision. Forever. Always. That's my answer.

It's crazy right? It seems as if I can hear your voice, but you're not here. Your laugh is echoing in my head, when again, you left already. Oh how it would quickly ease my pain if I get to see you. But I won't. It's the wealth I can't afford even if I sold my soul. My dear friends, I miss you all. Please tell me, when will I be able to smile again? Is it soon? How will I find answers? Can you tell me? I am asking for too much. I'm sorry. I know it's too late.

But I have hope. Just like you always did Hoseok. Your smile would get us all through the day. You were shining with hope, which I now lack. I need you now, I need you here with me. I need your hope and I need you to help me, to help you. Why is everything has to be complicated? Why is your laugh haunting me?

I never thought that you will need more than us to help you contain demons, who evilly laughed inside you, when you wanted to cry, but smiled with hope. But you needed more, but used more. And then it all went dark... too much. Overdose.

I can't contain my feels and I'm sorry, but as six of us found you there, lying on the bridge lifeless as cars passed by, as people walked by not even glancing. You were the first one to leave, but no one expected that you won't be the only one. Each one of you carried out some base out of my life, and you took hope, the thing you always had.

I never knew how hard you were fighting and how little you showed. How hard we worked and I am still too waek, but in the future, I give my word, in near future I will manage to visit your city, to let go of worthless memories and only keep you as everyone, in my heart. Forever. Friends. It should never end. We should never be left without hope. But we are.

Smile again my friend, because you will never be forgoten. I'll make sure of that. I hope, I still hope, to see you smile one day. Soon, very soon. I miss you.
- Jin.