fri[END]s | BTS

봉납

Friends. It's such a strong, powerful, meaningful word. But just a word. What it really is? What does it stand for? Does it have any affect on you? I want an answer. I want this perticular answer more than I wanted any other. I asked so much from you all, even if you couldn't give to me, despite how hard you tried, I could still sense you not giving up. That's probably the wealth of freedom. Determination.

Best friends. What does it stands for? What does it contain? How much are you willing to sacrife for an answer? I can give you my life right now for one simpliest grin. I miss you. Very much. I can't help but scream in the middle of the night terrified from the nightmares that I might lose you all. But then I realize. My nightmares has already became reality. No escape. I don't know where I entered this insanity, and I don't think it's possible to leave.

If you were still here, maybe, just maybe, I would still have enough dedication to not give up and fight back madness coming to get me. But with you I lost my dedication. NamJoon... you were the fifth one to leave and you took determination with you.

Doesn't friendship meant anything to you all? Are you sure you wanted exactly this? Now when you are watching me from afar and I can't see you smile, I realize that freedom has it's price. I slowly learn how to live again. I wish to see you now, but... I have to choose to see you all for one second, or keep on living in order to make our friendship eneternal. I can't tell which sacrifice would be less painful. I don't care. I lost hope, care, trust, strength and dedication. All was left for me was smile to all the darkness of the world and face it without second thoughts. I wish you could have been there with me. I wish you could have seen it. I took photos, don't worry. I'll show them to you later, or maybe I can do it now. If you are here, come closer, look. That's the smile that is left in the shadows. I hope to see you all smile again soon.

I miss you. I wish you were here, you would help me, I know. I'm slowly losing dedication for this mission, just like you did, by losing dedication to life. Two of us found you with your life's line dropped and you were never able to pick it up. But I will do it for you. Because that's what friends do. That's what best friends are for. See you in the near future. Even if I can sense you with me right now, all of your smiles is what I'm waiting for. I hope I have enough patience. Please give me strength to carry this on.
- Jin