Lake Talk

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Not my picture up there^^^full credits to the rightful owner of it. Also, while I'm at it, credits to the rightful owner of the pic on my cover and to any of the pictures in this book. No copyright intended. Thanks! Also, please vote. The amount of votes on this story is very discouraging. Please vote for me and comment, it would mean the world to me :)

"Parker I need to-" He cuts me off before I can finish.

"Aubrey I need to talk to you. " He whispers in my ear.

We just got to the carnival and Avril and Jacob went on ahead without us. It was just me, Parker, and the big lake next to us. Parker grabs my hand and slowly walks us over to the little brown bench under a willow tree near the water, looking down the whole time. We sit down and for a moment not a word is said.

"Aubrey...I love you. I want you back. I'm so sorry I would do something like I did to you at that party. I'm so sorry. "
"Parker, I could've pressed charges against you AND Ryan. You realize that, right? But I didn't. What you did was extremely wrong. I hope you realize that. It is going to take a lot of work to gain my trust back-"

"But-"

"Stop. I am not done speaking. " I hold my finger up and wait for him to calm down before I continue. "As I was saying, it may be a long time before I can actually trust you. I also hope you realize that any normal girl wouldn't hook back up with the guy who wanted her to almost get her virginity taken, but not really, just so he could save her. No girl in her right mind would do that.

"No girl in her right mind would date a guy that sick. I mean, not only is that terrible, but it is really possessively creepy. If you were willing to put me in a situation like that, what else are you going to be willing do? You can NOT put people in harmful situations you planned for them to get into just to supposedly rush in and save them before anything happens. I'm sorry, Parker, but that just isn't right.

"I shouldn't get back with you. Damn, I love you so much, but I shouldn't. I would love you even if you put a knife to my throat, but that doesn't mean I could forgive you. I understand you really wanted my attention, but hell, there could've been many other ways to do so. That was very. Very. Very. WRONG. I may love you, but I can't forget what you did. I can move past it, but I can never forget that you paid someone money to almost have sex with me just so you could come help me. I will never forget that.

"No normal girl would give that guy another chance. You put me in danger. I just don't know, anymore. I know you wouldn't do anything like that again in the back of my head, but what if you do? I can't be sure. It isn't right for us to be together if you were willing to do something that messed up to me so you could be with me. I really don't know if I could get back with you. But I do love you. I am in love with you.

"I am so in love with you, Parker Eugene Adams, but I can't trust you. I miss you and your gentle, caring side with me, but I have also figured out that you have a really-how do I put this-crazy, uncontrolled, desperate side. And that hurts. This is a really big deal. It would be a big step to get back with you. It is like hooking up with some obsessed guy. I really don't know anymore. " I look over at Parker when I finish. Way to not be harsh, me.

He lets go of my hands and brings his up to his face. Parker's shoulders curve in and start shaking.

"Parker?" I whisper and lean closer to him. I hadn't realized I was crying until I feel one of my teardrops fall onto my hand.

I look down at his face and see very few small tears leaking out. I quickly look away. I can't look him in the eyes or in his face when he is crying like that, or I'll start sobbing. What I said was completely true, though. It would be a big step to go right back to him again. It's actually scary that he would do something like that.

I really do love him. But he did something really wrong and I can't let that be forgotten. But I also know that that was him before now. The bad boy that would be willing to do anything to get a girl. He has lied about so many things and, for the third or fourth time, I just don't know anymore. Now he is a really good guy, and I am confident enough to believe I have changed him from the bad guy that did what he did before we were a couple, to the good guy that wouldn't even think of doing that now. Parker has grown out of that. That is what I also need to understand.

"I hate that I can't take it back. " He mutters, wiping his eyes with the heel of his hand.

"Hm. "

"I HATE it!" He shouts this time and I jump, realizing how upset he is.

I place a hand on his back and feel his rough, heavy breathing. The heartache we are both experiencing is terrible.

"I know. I know. " I try to stay calm, so I rest my head on his back. Soon enough, his breathing calms down to a normal pace.

"I hate who I used to be. If I could go back in time, I would've told myself not to do it. I hate myself. I hate me. I hate what I do, what I've done. I hate my parents. The one thing I love...is scared of me." He stands up and walks along the edge of the water. "The one thing I love...is going to leave me. The only thing that makes me happy besides my best friend. And I don't know if I can take it. Everyone says, 'Parker, you're eighteen, there are so many other girls.' Aubee, none of them are you. NONE of them! No other girl makes me feel the way you make me feel. You are special to me. Not some other girl who can't seem to see past my looks. "

The tone of his voice is filled with so much sorrow and anger I feel my heart practically rip into two pieces inside of my chest. I kick the pebbles under my feet, the breeze blowing against my cheeks gently. I sit there with no reply and I keep processing his words over and over again to come up with a response. Finally, I get up and walk over to him, taking his hands in mine.

"Parker..." My voice breaks and I have to take a shaky breath before continuing,"I'm not going to l-leave you. I couldn't do that. And you would be able to take it if I did. You're strong and handsome and sweet, with a heart the size of the universe. Anyone who knows you can see that. You made mistakes and you do have a point. That was the old you. The old you I hated, too. "

He looks down to meet my eyes and I look into his, as well. His eyes are glazed over with tears. Just seeing him like this causes me to begin crying again. I cup his face in my hands and rub my thumbs on his cheeks. I missed being able to do this so much.

"I want you back, too. And I'm not just saying this because I feel bad for you. I am saying this because I am willing to put your mistake behind me and accept that you know it was wrong. I love you. "

"I love you, too. "

"Please promise me you won't do anything like that again. Please. I need to hear it. "

"I promise. I swear on my life. " Parker traces up to my hands and encases them in his warm ones, placing them down by my waist. "Promise me...you will never leave me. "

"I promise. I won't leave you. I won't, I won't. " I lose it, and I start breaking down out of relief and heartache. My cry sounds terrible and for a moment I'm really embarrassed by it, but then I feel comfortable. It's just Parker.

"Shh. It's ok. It's ok. " He pulls me closer and wraps his arms around me, and, gosh, am I glad to be against him again with his arms sheltering me.

"I'm not leaving you. I couldn't no matter how hard I tried. I can't even stay away from you, even after what you did. I love you. I love you so much. " I repeat and cry into his chest.

"I know, princess. It's alright. " Parker pulls back and kisses my forehead. "Look at me. "

I look into his big blue eyes and I see how he is right back to normal. He had his moment of pain, but quickly forgot it when I needed comfort, myself. Just another reason I love him.

"Our past is behind us. We're in the present. All that matters is right now. And right now we have started all over again to a fresh start. It is all ok. "

I just nod my head and he pulls me back in for another tight hug. I'm almost scared that this is a dream, but I know it isn't. It can't be. Because this is all real. I'm with Parker again. It's so wrong, but it feels so right. I couldn't be happier.

"I love you, princess."

And I will never get tired of hearing that.

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