Sofia the first: Mean Princesses

Lunch with the Plastics

"Sofia likes Hugo! Sofia likes Hugo!" Mia pestered as I made my way to lunch.

Finally, I snapped.

"Mia, shut the heck up or I will take you out of there and slap the living daylight out of you. I don't care what people think or what kind of curse my amulet has in store for me."

"Okay. Geez."

The moment I entered the cafeteria, I immediately felt like retreating.

Everywhere I turned there was a prince or a princess. It seemed that every seat was occupied. I spotted the prince with the turban laughing and clapping backs with James at a table along with other unfamiliar princes. My eyes searched for Hugo but I couldn't find him in this royal mess. The princesses acted prim and proper, taking small bites and giggling and whispering behind their floral fans.

It was all too overwhelming.

I ran to a nearby corner and placed my backpack on the ground, pretending to look for something.

I opened my backpack slightly.

"Clover," I whispered, "all the seats are taken and no one seems very inviting."

Clover poked his head out and handed me a piece of folded parchment.

I unfolded it.

"It's a map of the cafeteria," Clover explained. Each table was drawn as a square and labeled as a group. "Here, you got the cool Asians, jocks, nerds, band geeks--"

"Wait a second, how do you know all this?"

"I've snuck here for food before. Anyway, whatever you do, do not sit with the Plastics."

"Who are the Pl--"

"Oh, Sofia!"

I immediately shoved the map and Clover's head back into my bag and heard a muffled "ow."

I spun around to see none other than my stepsister Princess Amber.

"Hi, Amber."

"Yes, hello. Would you like to have lunch with me and my friends?"

"Sure. That would be ah-mazing!"

Amber grabbed my hand abruptly and dragged me through the crowds, who, surprisingly, made way for us instead of expecting a polite "pardon me."

She plopped herself down at the head of the largest table in the room. There were several empty seats, except for one side where two girls--a brown girl clad in pink and an olive-skinned girl clad in teal.

"Have a seat," Amber said pleasantly.

I plopped down on the seat across from the two girls.

"These are my friends," Amber said. "This one here is Hildegard," she pointed to the teal girl, "and this one here is Clio," she pointed to the pink girl. "Hildegard, Clio, this is my stepsister, Sofia. She's from the village."

Both girls waved somewhat haughtily. I awkwardly returned the wave.

"Oh my gosh, that purple necklace looks so fetch," Hildegard gasped.

I looked down at my new amulet. "Thanks," I said, flashing a grin.

"What is fetch?" Amber asked with an exasperated tone.

"Oh, it's like slang--from Friezenburg," Hildegard turned to me again, "Where did you get it?"

"Oh. My Dad gave it to me," I answered.

"Ahem. Ahem. Stepdad," Amber coughed.

They began eating. The vegetables crunched beneath their teeth. I noticed that they each ordered salad.

Clio's eyes were fixed on me as if she were studying me.

"So, if you're from the village, why are you a princess?"

"Oh my gosh, Clio, you can't just ask people why they're princesses," Hildegard lectured.

"I'm gonna get more dressing," Amber announced, rising from her seat as she grabbed her tray.

Hildegard and Clio turned their attention to me.

"So," Hildegard began,"Have you seen any princes that you think are cute yet?"

"Well...there's this prince in my dance class," I admitted, my face heating up.

They gasped.

"Who is it?"

"It's a middle schooler?"

"His name is Prince Hugo."

"No!"

"Shut up!" Hildegard exclaimed. "Shut up!"

"I didn't say anything," I said, flustered.

"You can't like Prince Hugo, that's Amber's ex boyfriend!"

"They went out for a year," Clio added.

"Yeah, and she was really devastated when he broke up with her in kindergarten."

"Didn't she dump him for that brainy kid Desmond?" asked Clio.

"Irregardless," Hildegard insisted, "Ex boyfriends are just like, off limits to friends! It's the rules of feminism! You can ask Miss Flora. She and her sisters have gotten into some beef because of Merlin. But don't worry. I won't tell Amber you like Hugo. This could be our little secret."

"Relax, you guys. I'm not gonna try to be Hugo's girlfriend. I mean, we're barely in elementary!" I assured them.

"That's exactly what Amber said about Hugo in kinder," Clio said, "but she fell for him when they locked eyes in the sandbox."