You Didn't Ask (Reader x Nea D. Campbell) {D Gray Man}

chapter 35

the next day....

nea pov

i really need to put forth the effort to find someone. at this rate, ill be dying alone and just the thought is almost enough to move me to tears. i dont wanna die alone. im already 41. i dont want anyone too old cause...well i also want to have sex too and hips cant be getting broken every time we mess around. i also dont want to young either cause while i want to have sex often, maybe twice a week at best, the young'un would probably want like five and i cant handle that, no matter how much i would love to be able too. really....i just want someone who makes me feel good. mentally, physically, and sexually. someone who smiles when he looked as me. holds my hand when we go places. someone who makes my entire body hot whenever we are intimate. when im in his arms, i want to feel like im on top of the world. someone that i can be close too all the time would be nice but....well i know that they would need their personal space too. i sighed.

i was disturbed from my self pity when i got a message.

tyki: i hate to rub this in but.....LAST NIGHT WAS AMAZING

i sighed. i try not to hate on em but they make it so hard not to. apparently he was able to hook up with the guy and they went at it last night. part of me wants to know the details while another part of me wants to sue the motherfucker, screaming how much i hate him but.....i can be happy for him. or at least pretend that im happy for him.

me: great!! hate the thought that you finally get some in so long and it not be fulfilling

tyki: felt like i was a virgin again. im normally in control cause the top never knew what he was doing but this guy......this guy was a pro. he has had more sex than ive ever had in my life and it showed. he was in control and i dont regret it in the least

shit. i wish i had this guy, honestly. i could use some really good satisfying sex but the world hates me for some reason. doesnt help that i dont like the thought of speed dating or anything. id rather meet someone through a friend or family. im old school like that.

me: (crying emoji) im jealous

doesnt hurt to be honest every now and then.

tyki: dont be jealous of me, uncle nea. all we had was sex. you deserve more than that. you could get sex from any one. what you need is a boyfriend

he knows me so well.

me: yeah but enough about me. you continue to enjoy your undercover boyfriend

tyki: dont give up hope uncle nea. he will come to you before you know it.

me: hope so

i sighed. if only i were just a few years younger. like early to mid 30's? i think it would be alot easier to get with someone. being over 40 just screams desperation in my opinion and i know from experience that that is the last thing i would want. i just have to be patient.

reader pov

he put his phone on the night stand and settled back down on me, putting his face back in my neck. "shit, did i wake you?" he whispered. must have noticed my breathing changed. "yup," i said. he had woken me up when he leaned over to grab his phone and start texting. my phone had been buzzing all morning but there was one reason i couldn't get it: it was in my jeans which are currently on the floor right now. i was pretty comfy with this guy laying comfortably on me. helps that he is still naked and doesnt seem to mind my fingers gently dragging across the surface of his round ass. its so perfectly shaped. "sorry," he muttered against my neck. we just laid there for a minute, taking in each other presumably. "so...what now? unless you ready to come out right now, not more than this between us," i muttered, nuzzling my face in his neck. "yeah, as much as id love for it to be us for the long haul, i have a reputation. coming out right now would be suicide for my career," he said, kissing on my neck. "tsk....so i wont be getting a boyfriend out of this?" i muttered, knowing the answer all to well. "....we can still be a thing just.....not publicly," he whispered, hovering his head over mines. i sighed. "a relationship confined to this hotel room? sounds....terrible," i grunted. he kissed me, moving his lips against mine in the most sensual way. he pulled away, his breath hot on my lips. "doesnt have to be as bad as it sounds," he whispered, caressing my head. "cant even come here that often or else people will get suspicious. cant talk a whole lot at work or else people will get suspicious. just thinking about this is making me really fucking tired," i grunted. "tsk making you tired? you dont have to hide your face after being with me. if the press were to find out about us, they would attack me, not you. i want to be with you, ian. as my boyfriend and everything but our worlds are very different. my image is my livelihood," he explained. i sighed. "yeah, i know. its...its just not all that fair. only being able to be with you when it comes to sex," i said. really i just want to be with him cause he is mega sexy, probably the sexiest man ive ever been with, and he would pretty much be a trophy for me. am i shallow? yeah, ill admit it. having a celebrity boyfriend is pretty fucking exciting. "ill try to make it work somehow. right now, its just sex. dont get to invested with me, ian. i dont want you to get to attached. you will only get hurt in the end," he said. i just nodded.