Bound

Kate & Ryke

Updating early for _borlington

:)

I was disoriented when I opened my eyes to the lenses of my shaded sunglasses.

"Hmm?" I said, poking my head up.

"You fell asleep," Lexi said from next to me. We were on the dock getting some sun. I remembered feeling warm and relaxed, which must have led to a nap.

"My cell reception here is shit," Lexi grumbled, tossing her phone onto the dock. She wore a wide-brimmed hat to protect the new chocolate shade of her hair from fading.

"Do you have pictures of your son on there?" I asked, turning to her.

"Yeah."

"Let's see," I said, pushing my sunglasses up into my hairline. "What's his name?"

"Cade."

She passed me the phone and I scrolled through photos of a bright-eyed, dark-haired baby on assorted blankets, in a baby swing and in Lexi's arms.

"He's beautiful," I said, my vision clouding with tears. There was a tinge of regret that I didn't have pictures like this of my own, but mostly I was glad for Lexi that she did.

"Hey," she said softly as I handed the phone back. "It's totally fine if you don't want to talk about it, but if you do, it stays between you and me."

I sighed. She had always been a good friend in high school. She and John had gotten together then, and were one of those couples you knew would be together forever.

"I was at the doctor for the sono to find out the sex and when the doctor went to look, the baby was gone," I said, staring up at the perfectly puffed shapes of clouds in the bright blue sky.

"Do they know why?"

"No. Not for sure. They took blood from me after the delivery and did a lot of tests, but they never found anything. The doctor said there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with me. That it can happen from an illness or sometimes just because the baby's not developing right."

"How are you doing with everything now?" Lexi asked. Concern wrinkled the corners of her eyes.

"I'm not sure," I said, smiling and furrowing my brows. "It's been hard, but I'm trying to move forward. Talking about it with you now . . . it's the first time I've talked about it and not cried."

"Does it feel good to talk about it?"

"It does," I said, surprised. "It didn't at first. But with you . . . I know you understand, and it's safe. I don't know if I could talk to just anyone about it."

"I'm always, always here," she said, reaching for my hand. "I'm so sorry I didn't call you after. I'm ashamed of myself. I cried for you and prayed for you, but I just didn't know what to say."

"Thanks," I said. "Really. I know it's hard when you've never been there. I go to this grief support group, and it's actually helped me a lot. That's where I met Ryke."

"Really?" Lexi cocked a brow in surprise.

"Yeah. His wife was killed by a drunk driver two years ago."

"His wife?" Lexi's hand flew to her chest. "God, that's terrible."

"Yeah. It had to be so much harder going through that in the spotlight."

"He seems pretty great. But I'm confused, because you said he's your boss and not your boyfriend—"

I covered my face with my hands. "It's complicated. I think. I don't even know, Lex. I haven't been with anyone since Quinn. Sometimes I wonder if I should try to sleep with some random guy I've got no investment in. Ryke and I have been doing this dance for three months now, and I . . . really like him. A lot."