Bound

Kate & Ryke

Quinn sat on a stool at the deli's counter, his gaze focused on the white mug in front of him. I'd just stepped in the front door, and I considered turning around and walking back out. I didn't owe him anything. If he was feeling bad about things, it was probably because he was a selfish asshole.

But the slump of his shoulders made me decide to give him five minutes. It wasn't possible for him to hurt me now, anyway. Any faith I had in him was long gone.

I approached him with a forced smile.

"Kate." He turned my way, and a cool breeze of sadness and disappointment passed over me. I said nothing, just slid onto the stool next to him and waited. His hair was shorter now, the golden waves traded for a practical cut.

"You look good." Was that relief I heard in his voice?

"I am good."

"So . . . thanks for coming. I don't want to keep you here long, I'm sure you've got stuff to do." He cleared his throat and glanced around the nearly empty deli. "Did you want to order anything?"

"No, I'm okay."

He nodded and sipped his coffee, staring straight ahead at the chalkboard that had "blackberry pie" scrawled across it. "I guess what I'd like to say to you is that I'm sorry, Kate. For . . . everything, really. From the time you told me you were pregnant, I didn't do one thing right."

"I didn't need you," I said, surprising even myself with the words. "Your support would've been nice. Just not dealing with your hostility would've helped. But it didn't take long for me to realize I could do it on my own. I could have."

Quinn just nodded again, silent.

"What broke me was losing the baby," I said. "Not losing you."

"But I should've been there for you." Even behind his glasses, I could see the swirling emotions in his hazel eyes. "I hate myself for the way I treated you. You're a good person, and when you needed me, I bailed. I left you holding the bag."

"Yeah," I said softly. "But I got through it. You know, when I'm old and gray and I've had a full and hopefully happy life -- when it's time for me to leave this world -- a part of me will look forward to finally meeting my baby. I could have a dozen children, and she will always be my first one. But I won't even remember you. I've already moved on from what went down between us, and you need to do the same. I forgive you, and I hope you'll forgive yourself soon."

I slid off of the stool, knowing this was probably the last time I'd ever see him. It was possible we'd see each other in a crowd one day, living in the same city, or that I'd end up behind him in line at a coffee shop. But we wouldn't smile, hug and catch up. This was it for us.

"Bye, Kate," he said, his tone telling me he knew it, too.

"Bye, Quinn."

"I hope . . . I mean, I just wish you all the happiness in the world. Really. You deserve it."

I smiled as I wrapped my scarf around my neck, not thinking of Quinn, but Ryke. "Thanks. I think maybe I've found it."

***

The light chill in the parking garage nipped at my cheeks, and I took in a cleansing breath. A walk in the brisk fall weather sounded perfect right now. I was going upstairs to see if Ryke would join me. I didn't feel like talking about my conversation with Quinn, but I wanted the solid reassurance I got just from Ryke's presence.

On the elevator ride up, I remembered my nervousness about seeing Quinn tonight. But it hadn't bothered me. He was just the guy who bailed after our brief fling, and memories of our time together had already faded for me.