Suicidal Thoughts (Levi x Reader AoT)

Chapter 11

11 Years ago-Age 16

"How many times are you going to end up on the ground. Get up you bitch.", your father said, looking down at you while you lay on the floor, a dribble of blood coming from the corner of your mouth, without a speck of pity or care in his tone, more filled with annoyance and tiredness.

Father. You would never call him that. He hadn't earned the title. Just because you get someone pregnant and live with the result doesn't mean you deserve to be called a 'father '.

You got back up, standing in a fighting stance with your hands above your head. You stared at  your father, who was still in his police uniform, but the shirt was untucked with the first two buttons undone, and his shoes off. He held a cigarette in his lips and stood with his arms hanging at his sides, sleeves rolled up over his elbows.

Hate. That was all you felt for him, and you wouldn't stop fighting him until you beat him. You didn't even know why he was doing this, you knew it wasn't because he loved you.

You darted towards him, with one fist above your face, one your upper chest. He stood still and watched as you came towards him. You swung a fist towards his face as a distraction, as he grabbed your fist you kicked his leg making him lose his balance but not fall.

You tried to kick his side with him still holding your fist, but he yanked on your hand with force, making you fall two meters away. You landed on one knee and got back up, you ran at him again, he tried to punch you in the face but you ducked under it and punched him in the stomach, then going behind him before he could punch again and kicked his back, he went down onto his knees, and you pressed on two pressure points behind his neck, making him hiss in pain, you didn't push hard enough though and he turned around and threw you to the ground.

You cringed at the pain of your arm and side grinding into the sharp gravel and dirt, which surely had given you some scratches.

He looked down at you again. "Again. Your so damn useless", he said while walking away. You got up and walked inside. You walked into the bathroom and saw small cuts down your arm and a large one on your side.

You didn't mind though, you kinda liked the pain. But you only really liked it tI a certain extent, so the one on your side was stinging. You had gotten used to the pain. Most of the fights ended like this.

You looked at the scar on your stomach when your father had stabbed you last year, he decided to fight with knives, but he stopped using knives when he had to take you to the hospital that time for internal bleeding.

You just used some water from the sink to clean the blood off your arm and side and dried it with a towel.

You walked to the kitchen and sat on the island counter with your legs crossed. You saw a box of sleeping pills for your mom on the table.

Fuck it.

You grabbed them and got a glass of water. You took eight pills out and put four in your mouth, considering if you put in any more you wouldn't be able to swallow. These will end up being enough hopefully.

You felt a strong hand grab the back of your neck at the same pressure points you used on your father. You put down the glass of water and wince.

"Spit them out sis.", you heard your older brothers voice from behind you.

You sighed and spat the pills out onto the counter. You sighed and looked behind you at your brother. "This is the third time this year (y/n), if you are gonna kill yourself then at least do it in a less public space where I won't catch you...", he said while throwing the sleeping pills that I had in my mouth away and putting the box away in the cupboard.