Reading the Regency

Entering Society

"I begin now to understand you all, except Miss Price," said Miss Crawford, as she was walking with the Mr. Bertrams. "Pray, is she out, or is she not? I am puzzled. She dined at the Parsonage, with the rest of you, which seemed like being out; and yet she says so little, that I can hardly suppose she is."

Edmund, to whom this was chiefly addressed, replied, "I believe I know what you mean, but I will not undertake to answer the question. My cousin is grown up. She has the age and sense of a woman, but the outs and not outs are beyond me."
[Chapter 5, Mansfield Park, by Jane Austen]

For girls who lived in certain social spheres, there was a point in their life where they officially entered society. This was commonly known as being Out. Coming out, or being "brought out" marked the time when a young woman moved from being a child to an adult; specifically an adult who was now ready to get married.

It was the point at which a parent would take her daughter on social visits with friends and neighbours during the day, and they would be invited to dinners and evening parties at night, allowing the girls to mingle with those who were of similar status, and meet socially acceptable gentlemen.

This only applied to young women whose families were part of the wealthy middle classes, the gentry, clergy and those in the highest levels of society.

There was no fixed age for when a girl came out. The decision was down to her parents or guardians. For those families who lived in the countryside it could be a relaxed event, while among the peerage the decision to bring a daughter out would have to be planned in advance, often timed to coincide with the beginning of the social season.

By the latter half of the 19th century, a girl would be introduced into society between the ages of eighteen and twenty, but at the beginning of the century the common age range was between sixteen and eighteen. In Pride and Prejudice, Lydia Bennet is already out, even though she isn't yet sixteen. However, in Mansfield Park Fanny Price doesn't attend her first ball until she's eighteen. Whatever her age, until a girl begins to socialise with her neighbours she would never be thought of as "out":

"I must be satisfied about Miss Price. Does she go to balls? Does she dine out every where, as well as at my sister's?"

"No," replied Edmund; "I do not think she has ever been to a ball. My mother seldom goes into company herself, and dines nowhere but with Mrs. Grant, and Fanny stays at home with her."

"Oh! then the point is clear. Miss Price is not out."
[Chapter 5, Mansfield Park, by Jane Austen]

In England, the word Debutante originally referred to a young actress making her debut, or first appearance on stage.

It wasn't until 1817 that the word was used to describe a young lady making her first formal appearance in society, and applied particularly to daughters of peers who had been presented at court. The earliest example I found in print dates from 1821:

"It is Habit that takes away their relish from the luxuries of the rich, and makes the coarse fare of the peasant palatable and sweet; that renders the cloister pleasant to the once weeping nun, the ball room insipid to the once raptured debutante."
[The New Monthly Magazine, vol 2., pub 1821]

Out or not out?

"...in general, nothing can be more easily ascertained. The distinction is so broad. Manners as well as appearance are, generally speaking, so totally different. Till now, I could not have supposed it possible to be mistaken as to a girl's being out or not. A girl not out has always the same sort of dress: a close bonnet, for instance; looks very demure, and never says a word. You may smile, but it is so, I assure you; and except that it is sometimes carried a little too far, it is all very proper. "
[Chapter 5, Mansfield Park, by Jane Austen]