Reading the Regency

Forms of Address - part 1

"Count Altenberg then said, addressing himself to Mr. Percy, on whose regard he seemed to have reliance, and to Mrs. Percy, whom he appeared most anxious to interest in his favour, "You certainly, sir, as a man of penetration, and a father; you, madam, as a mother, and as a lady who must have been accustomed to the admiration of our sex, could not avoid seeing, when I was in this country before, that I felt the highest admiration, that I had formed the strongest attachment for your daughter--Miss Caroline Percy."
[Chapter 39, Patronage by Maria Edgeworth]

The word "Address" meant many things during the early 19th century. In these chapters, I'm particularly referring to the words and names people used in speech.

Forms of address in the early 19th century were far more formal and polite than we are familiar with today. It can make characters sound stuffy and boring to modern readers. Yet this odd formality is one of the things that most appeals to me. The character's names and titles, and the way they are used by family, friend, stranger or new acquaintance, sets any historical story apart from contemporary novels.

The way you addressed a person depended on several factors, such as your relationship with them, your respective ages and their position in society. The higher up the social ladder, the more important formality was seen to be.

I've already covered the basic forms of address when speaking to peers, but this section will cover more general, everyday usage in society.

Sir and Madam

"You must be a great comfort to your sister, sir."
"I hope I am, madam."
"And pray, sir, what do you think of Miss Morland's gown?"
"It is very pretty, madam," said he, gravely examining it; "but I do not think it will wash well; I am afraid it will fray."
[Chapter 3, Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen]

Knights and Baronets were not the only ones you might call Sir. It was a respectful form of address to any gentleman, including total strangers and those you didn't know well.

It was used by servants to address their master or his visitors, unless "My Lord" was more appropriate, and also by children to address their father.

"I do assure you, Sir, that I have no pretension whatever to that kind of elegance which consists in tormenting a respectable man. I would rather be paid the compliment of being believed sincere."
[Chapter 19, Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen]

Spoken in friendly tones, along with a smile, "Sir" could be a warm welcome. However, in other circumstances, "Sir" could be used as a snub, or a cold and formal way of showing your displeasure, or creating necessary distance.

"You can have no reason, I imagine, madam," said he, addressing his mother, "for wishing Fanny not to be of the party, but as it relates to yourself, to your own comfort."
[Chapter 8, Mansfield Park, by Jane Austen]

Madam was a respectful way of addressing any adult female. It could be spoken to a mother, an aunt or any lady to whom you were not related. It was an acceptable way for any gentleman to address an unmarried woman with whom he was not well acquainted. Ma'am was a shortened version of Madam.

"Dear madam," cried Mrs. Hill, in great astonishment, "don't you know there is an express come for master from Mr. Gardiner? He has been here this half hour, and master has had a letter.  ... they were on the point of seeking him up stairs with their mother, when they were met by the butler, who said, "If you are looking for my master, ma'am, he is walking towards the little copse."
[Chapter 49, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen]