She moved with a certain thoughtfulness about her. Every step was placed gently. Whether this is to disappear from those around her or to protect the wounds they inflicted was unknown but, either were understandable for someone in her position. To h...
I still can't believe it. I hurt my mate. I tortured and enslaved my soulmate. The bond and my guilt have been eating me up these past few days. I can't leave my room and let the pack see me so weak. The bond breaking is eating me up. I can't eat or sleep with this pain. A part of my soul is being torn from my body and I feel every bit of it. Rejection happens so rarely that there was never a treatment made for this. With all this pain I have been unable to perform most of my duties as an alpha. This pain, however, did not stop me from making a couple of orders. I ordered an end to Hope's chores and beatings though I doubt anyone would have made her anyways. I've asked everyone to keep an eye on her too. The only time anyone can talk to me now is when my beta comes to tell me what she's been up to once a day. She still tries to do her old chores though people do their best to stop her. She hides a lot too. She gets scared a lot of people. He doesn't know where she goes sometimes, especially at night. She still makes breakfast because no one gets up early enough to stop her. People have stooped her from serving it though. That is a blessing and a curse. She doesn't have to exhaust herself anymore and she probably feels safer away from me but, I don't get to see her. I need to show her that I won't hurt her ever again. I want to tell her how sorry I am. I want to make her feel safe. I won't make her come here though. Someone else always brings me the breakfast she made me. It's the only thing I ever try to eat because I know that my mate made it for me. I'm already skinnier than I was before. Suddenly there's a soft knock on my door. I decide to ignore it. They knock louder I guess not getting the message. "Go away", I'm sure they can hear the weakness in my voice. "I apologize alpha" wait that's her. I quickly stand from my bed and walk over to throw open the door. I can't let her leave. I grab her and pull her into myself. I feel her flinch and stiffen in my arms but hold her anyway. I bury my face in her hair and inhale deeply. She smells so sweet. The sparks fly all over my body and dull my pain. I could stay like this forever. I would stay like this forever if she were more comfortable. I sigh realizing for long we've been like this and that she doesn't want this. I sigh and turn her around. I look at her face. I never really noticed before how thin and tired she looks. That's my fault. "I'm so happy to see you but why did you come?", I ask her fearing the answer. "I'm sorry to bother you Alpha I just wanted to talk about the rejection", I don't miss how she calls me alpha but my heart still fills with joy. "Are you going to take it back and accept me?", my voice takes the giddy tone of a child as I say this. "No sir I'm here to persuade you to accept the rejection", I deflate at her words. It was stupid of me to get my hopes up like that when I deserved what I got. "Remember that time you flogged my back for spilling soup? Or how about when you dragged me on the gravel because I forgot to dust one of the shelves? Or how about-". "Please stop", my heart breaks as she recalls all of my past wrongs. I did do all that stuff and now she's covered in all those scars that I can never take back. I can't help but bring my hand to her cheek to rest there gently. "Alpha what I'm trying to say is I mess up all the time and you hate me for it rightfully. You're only feeling this way because of the bond. It'll be over when you accept and then you can go back to running the pack and going to find another mate". My eyes widen at her words. How can she think all those things were her fault? Probably because I manipulated her into believing that. Guilt washes over me to see how much I broke her. Then her last words hit me. How could I have another mate? She's all I want. There could never be anyone else. "No please I don't want anyone else! I love you, Hope!", I am desperate but I man every word. She stares at me confused. "Sir I'm sorry but, I'm not Hope. I don't have a name. Only good people get those", grief consumes me. This is worse than rejection. She doesn't remember her name. What if she doesn't remember our past? I scoop her up into my arms and carry her to a chair. I set her on my lap and rock her back and forth. I'm soothing myself more than I am her. I whisper apologies into her ear because I lack the strength to say them louder. Suddenly she faces me and moves my head from her shoulder. She seems to collect herself before leaning into me. Suddenly her lips are on mine. I saw her coming yet still didn't suspect this. I close my eyes and move with her. I feel myself smiling. Maybe this means she changed her mind. Maybe she wants me. She pulls back suddenly. Her eyes hold unshed tears. I hear her breathing pick up. Fear courses through me. "Hope please tell me what's wrong", I beg her", somehow I know this is my fault again.
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