Catching Rainbows

8

The next day we were late to the park but only by ten minutes, which was pretty good. Hailie always had "one more thing" to do before we left, so I'd learned to tell her half an hour early that it was time to go and then she had half an hour to mess around and appease her anxiety about leaving. 

It was in the low 80s, and most kids were still in school, which was ideal. Too many kids overwhelmed her. I unbuckled the part of her car seat she couldn't do and she stood next to the car, jumping up and down and flapping her hands in excitement. 

She got her doll, Maryanne, who wore a sign that said "I'm a Real Person" because God help anyone who called her a doll. Maryanne was her security item necessary for leaving the house.

I spotted Chloe as we neared the large playground. "Be still my heart," I said under my breath as we neared. She was sitting on a bench next to coffee cups, wearing a blue sun dress with a tiny white sweater. The front of the dress laced up delicately, and was low-cut but modestly so. It was the kind of dress you can't wear a bra with and I was not complaining in the least.

"What, Lulu? What about your heart?" Hailie piped up, swinging Maryanne back and forth in her beat-up purple doll carrier. Her hair was almost to her waist, because for some reason she didn't mind it being washed or combed, and I'd braided it so it stayed out of her sweet little face. 

"Nothing," I said, which wouldn't have worked as an answer except for the fact that she was distracted by the kids half a dozen kids playing. Most of them were four or younger. 

"Hi!" Chloe said, rising to hug me, warm and soft and oh my lord. She let go and knelt on one knee to be at Hailie's level. "Hi, I'm Chloe."

Hailie tugged my sleeve and when I leaned over whispered loudly, "Tell her my name is Hailie."

"Her name is Hailie," I obliged. I remembered I hadn't changed our picture from my lock screen or background. Damn!

"Nice to meet you, Hailie," she said, sitting again. 

Tug, tug. "Did you bring my paper?" she stage-whispered.

I sat too, and began going through my purse, which had approximately five thousand things in it. Finally I found the folded scrap of pink paper and handed it to her. 

She unfolded it and held it up for Chloe to see. MY NAME IS HAILIE it said. 

"Nice," she said. "That's my brother over there in the green shirt, his name is Joey. He knows you're coming to play if you want to go hang out with him."

She wasn't that shy around kids and dumped Maryanne in my lap before tugging on me. "Will you be right here the whole time?"

"Of course," I said. "Bye, have fun, don't be bossy."

"I probably won't. But I might be." She approached Joey and held out the paper. She held her red and blue plastic shovels in her other hand. 

He glanced at it and said, "I know you're Hailie, and that's your cousin with my sister. She's not my complete sister which is called a full sister, because we have different fathers. So she's my half-sister and I'm her half-brother. If one of us was nonbinary they would be called a sibling or a half-sibling."

"I have a full brother," Hailie responded. "He's at school. I learn at home with my cousin Luna. And sometimes my mom. But she's busy and tired. I have a game I want us to play."

Chloe, who was also watching the, turned back to me. "I think they'll be okay," she said with a grin. She smelled like some kind of flower I didn't know existed, but it was now my favorite.

"Yeah," I said elegantly. "I brought cupcakes, but they're made with flour, so I had to hide them from Hailie in the trunk. You might have to just take yours home and eat in secret."

She laughed and raised her eyebrows. "I can sneak a cupcake like a ninja so it won't be a problem," she assured me. "Oh and before I forget, here." She pulled several sheets of notebook paper out of her Guatemalan woven bag, which was a mixture of red and purple and yellow. The notes were held together with a red ladybug paper clip. "Gluten free foods that don't taste terrible."

"Thank you." I took the list and admired the loopy handwriting. Mine was chicken scratch. It was the only thing for which I'd gotten an "Unsatisfactory" mark in elementary school. Such bullshit.

She shrugged out of her sweater, folding it and tucking it away in her bag. "Oops, here's your mocha," she remembered, freeing it from the drink holder and holding it out. "It shouldn't be too hot since I got them like an hour ago," she said half apologetically. "I went before I picked Joey up from school."

"Thank you, you are my coffee savior," I said, which made no sense, and why did I even talk. I sipped and it was just right. "Goldilocks temp," I said, because I'm continuously dumb. She gave me a courtesy smile. "Where does he go?"

She hesitated. "Aurora."

"Daaaamn," my unfiltered ass said. "I mean, that's a nice school." For super rich kids.

She was embarrassed. "I know its reputation," she acknowledged, playing with the tab on the plastic lid of the cup. "My dad and stepmother, um, actually own The Splash Zone."

"Wow, that's pretty cool," I admitted. I loved the indoor/outdoor water park, which also had dry rides. 

She glanced at the kids playing in the sand pit. There were cement "dinosaur fossils" under the sand for them to unearth, which Joey was doing while Hailie dug a hole. 

"The school's perfect for Joey because Aurora has a huge adaptive program for autistic kids and even gifted kids, so, like, Joey can go for half days without being expected to act neurotypical." I liked that she used "neurotypical" instead of "normal."

"That sounds amazing," I said, trying not to sound envious and probably failing. We would never have the opportunity to send Hailie there. I knew tuition was several thousand dollars a month. 

"It's ideal," she said, checking her phone and putting it back down. I was trying not to stare at her but it was hard. She was just so pretty. Her eyes in the sun were almost the color of honey.

I drank and yawned. "I got up way too early. I am too old for this."

"I don't even know how old you are," she realized.

"I'll be twenty-two in August. You?"

She shaded her eyes so she could see me. "I turned twenty-two the day after Christmas."

I saw a guy our age with a drooly toddler check us out for the umpteenth time as he spoke loudly to his kid, trying to get our attention. "I think that guy likes you."

She rolled her eyes. "I saw him. I need a sign that says Not Interested."

That hurt a little, even if I knew it wasn't directed at me. "Or Taken," I offered.

She snorted. "Yeah, don't remind me." She rolled her eyes.

You should leave him and come be my girlfriend, I didn't say.

At that inopportune moment I chanced to look over at the entrance to the hiking trail. When I saw the girl coming through the wooden posts serving as path markers, my insides clenched up I felt my chin rise. "Fuck," I said, because it was my ex, who was a terrible person for what she'd done to me.