Catching Rainbows

19

tw/ talk of suicide

"So I hope after I tell you this you won't think I'm a bad person," she started.

I shut her up with another kiss. "Nothing is going to change the fact that I think you're a wonderful person," I said with feeling, all the feelings, all the good ones at least. "An awesome person. An amazing person." My honesty was raw, and I knew she could see it.

She held my gaze, two inches away. "Says you."

I was brave enough to take her hand, linking our fingers. "Tell me. You can trust me."

"I don't doubt that." She squeezed my hand a little. "Damn, I don't even know where to start. Um, let's see . . . you undoubtedly know who Mayor Reynolds is?"

"Sure," I said, because everyone knew the jovial, popular man.

She made a face. "Three years ago, he and my mom met and fell in love. Or rather, she did, and he lied about it, because not long after that he married another woman."

"Ouch," I commented, wincing. 

A cold breeze rustled the leaves in the trees and she shivered a little, leaning against me more. I would have gotten a blanket but I didn't want to interrupt . . . or let go of her hand.

"Yeah, she didn't take it well. He wanted to keep seeing her on the side, and wouldn't leave her alone; I've seen the emails. And I guess things got pretty bad, worse than I knew, because one night she took her own life." Her shoulder rose, and a few tears resumed their trails down her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry," I said, inadequate words. I squeezed her hand now, hoping she could feel my sentiment somehow physically.

She acknowledged it with a watery smile and continued. "She always had a lot of depression, and she really loved him, you know? I've looked through some of her journals, not to invade her privacy or anything, but I had to know what made her do it. He sent her all these emails saying how much he loved her and couldn't live without her, but when she ran into him and his wife at the store that last day, he wouldn't even look at her. It was just too much." She wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "I found her the next morning, and the note she left me saying how sorry she was." She gestured aimlessly, shrugging again.

Damn. No one should ever have to lose their parent that way. "I'm really sorry," I said, wishing like hell I had something better to offer. "That must have been horrible." No shit, Luna. 

Chloe wiped her eyes. "Yep. And then that piece of shit had the audacity to show up at her funeral."

Disbelief ran through me. "Wow, seriously?"

She nodded. "And later that night, I set his house on fire."

I felt my jaw drop; I hadn't seen where this was going, though in retrospect I should have. "That was you?" It had been on the news for weeks.

"Yeah, that was me. And Keith. I only remember bits of it, I was pretty drunk. Really drunk. He orchestrated it, got me drunk even, but I did most of the actual damage. We weren't like together then, but he hung around my brother, and he'd just pulled Joey out of the pool not long before. He was trying to use it to pressure me into dating him, which of course my family also loved the idea of. He heard me telling my brother what I'd found out about the mayor, and he somehow saw an opportunity to entrap me, and took it."

Damn. "And they never found out it was you who did that to the mayor's house," I finished for her. "And he has a video or some shit, right? That probably makes you look completely guilty. Wow, I actually can't believe he's smart enough to plan something like that."

She was nodding. "I've seen the video. There's no sound, but there's almost ten minutes of me, clearly setting his house on fire in several places with like six cans of starter fluid. It didn't burn all the way or anything, but it was damaged enough that I will be in some real trouble if they find out."

Oh, fuck this manipulative loser. "So he's been blackmailing you since then?"

She laughed humorlessly, but at least she wasn't crying anymore. "He's never said it straight out, but if I don't do what he wants he'll start saying 'oh, it'd be a shame if the cops accidentally got that one movie you star in' and shit like that. The only thing I can think of is to pay some techie to find and remove the video, but then I would be trusting a stranger to keep what I did a secret."

"That is a mess," I agreed. "But we will figure out what to do. And until then you can spend as much time here as you want. It's not so roomy, but it's all yours."

"And you're here, which is the best part," she said matter-of-factly, bringing our hands up so she could kiss the back of mine, which gave me chills. The delicious kind. 

"Dealing with this on top of losing your mom must have been so hard," I said, because sometimes it helps to hear the obvious out loud, to have it acknowledged. 

"Dealing with anything is hard without her," she admitted. "Which I'm sure you understand, though I'm of course sorry you get it."

I took a moment to put my thoughts together. "I spend a lot of energy on just not thinking about it, if that makes sense? Because it just makes me cry, every time, and I've cried about it so much sometimes it seems like I'll start and never stop."

"I hear that," she said, moving her thumb back and forth on mine. 

 "I did counseling for almost a year, which helped some. I could probably use more, though I guess that's true of most people.." 

She gave a short laugh. "One can never have too much counseling, true." 

The wind kicked up again, giving us a chill. "We should go inside, where it's warm," I pointed out. I could see my cousin through the skylight, contentedly watching her show, and I was thankful for small favors. 

She reached down to look at the time on her phone though, and rolled her eyes. "No, I'd better get back. He's probably passed out by now but the last thing I want is to have him come looking for me here." She stood, breaking our hold. "Not that I want to leave."

I stood too, my hand bare now and cold where hers had kept it warm. "I'm not worried about him," I said. "If you want to stay."

She leaned to kiss me and I would have fought off a dozen Keiths just to keep her with me. "I know, but still." She got her purse and put her hand on the ladder.

"Are you safe there?" I asked, because it was a valid question. 

She nodded. "He's never laid a hand on me. He's not that brave . . . or stupid. And I didn't even tell you the best news; he's going on a hunting trip for two weeks in a few days, so that's going to be amazing. You can come over, we can plot his demise. And maybe we can hang out tomorrow with the kids since I have Joey in the afternoon, if you want?"

If I wanted. "Um, yes please to all of that," I said emphatically. "How could I have any other answer," I added rhetorically. 

She smiled, lighting up the night, lighting up my heart, and I kissed her once more before letting her go. "Sweet dreams," she told me, as if I wasn't already in the middle of the sweetest one.