Haylor- What Really Happened

Hotel rooms

After they leave is when it hits us the hardest. We begin obsessing over what went wrong, the moments we took for granted. We start to blame ourselves. The emotions come in waves and it's too hard to cope.

I just left your bedroom

To any other passer by this song might sound purely sexual, however him leaving her bedroom signifies the end of their relationship, after the one last night they promised each other. I think this is what happened after they fought. Him leaving her bedroom isn't anything sexual, it's just him not being welcome in her personal space anymore, since they broke up. It signifies the end of their relationship, as they can no longer be around each other in a space that is so secret and personal, like someone's bedroom. Basically, he's not a part of her life any longer. And I think since she already walked out on him, he waited for her and eventually left, because he feels disconnected from her. 

Woke up alone in this hotel room... where were you?

I feel like this is the next day, the day after she left. You know when you wake up confused because your memory is wiped completely clean for a brief second and it all suddenly comes rushing back?

"The one subject that hits the hardest is love," he says, "whether it's platonic, romantic, loving it, gaining it, losing it  ...  it always hits you hardest. I don't think people want to hear me talk about going to bars, and how great everything is. The champagne popping  ...  who wants to hear about it? I don't want to hear my favourite artists talk about all the amazing shit they get to do. I want to hear, 'How did you feel when you were alone in that hotel room, because you chose to be alone?'"

- Harry Styles for Rolling Stone

Played with myself

Everyone thinks this has a sexual meaning, and it's not hard to see why, but I think it's him replaying what happened over and over in his head and obsessing about it.

Asked about the line, he is quoted as replying: "Noooo! Played with my thoughts!"

- Harry on Dining Table

(https://www.express.co.uk/entertainment/music/805185/Harry-Styles-playing-with-myself-From-The-Dining-Table-lyric-meaning-album)

Give me some morphine

Is there any more to do?  

Just take the pain away

When you left it was the end of my world

The pain is unbearable and he wants to be numb, to stop feeling. 

The pain gets hard

But now you're here and I don't feel a thing

The morphine, however is her. 

Cause once you go without it

Nothing else will do

This song, I believe was written in an immediate post- breakup perspective. So he had to go back and remember what he felt in that moment, and right then he believed the only way for the pain to stop was if she came back.

I gotta get better, I gotta get better

Harry realises he needs to work on himself, that he needs to fix whatever he did wrong. He also knows that it's unhealthy to rely on someone so much that you almost use them for emotional stability. This idea of associating love with drug abuse is also echoed in Clean.