Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Mr. Darcy x Reader

Chapter 4

           After what felt like a lifetime, Jane was well enough to go home. Though she was not quite healed completely, you were anxious to get out of the house of your nightmares. It wasn't that Mr Bingley was a bad host; it was Mr Darcy. Oh, how frustrating that man was! You were just on the verge of beheading him after what seemed like every interaction you had with him.

          Jane recovered rather quickly once she was home, much to your pleasure. You still thought about Mr. Darcy and his arrogance! His inability to see anyone as an equal, much less someone he could learn from! Everything about Mr Darcy infuriated you. There was no way you would ever be able to love a man like that. You smiled at the way you managed to tick him off as you left the Bingley residence. You took great care in emphasizing a look of displeasure and hate directed to Mr Darcy, drastically different from the sweet, thankful smile you gave Mr Bingley.

          You thought, as you were finally home, you could relax. Jane was well. You were away from that wretched man. You finally felt at ease. That was, until your cousin came to town. Your mood worsened when you found out this idiot of a man could throw you out of your own home if he pleased as soon as your father was dead. 

          "Tell me, to which of my fair cousins do I owe the compliments? Of the excellent, and I repeat, excellent cooking?" Collins spoke.

The sound of scraping knives and forks stopped, an awkward, thick tension filling the room. 

"My daughters were trained for battle, sir. Not the kitchen."

After that, the topic shifted to one you could manage to sit through. Lady Catherine de Bourgh had always been an incredible woman, in your opinion, with a zombie count higher than anyone could imagine. As all good things do, this peacefulness, of course couldn't last.

You stifled a laugh or two as Mr Collins tried, and failed, to propose to Jane. You hid a smile into your cup of water, listening closely as your mother bore Mr Collins the bad news regarding Jane's, rather hopeful, engagement. 

"But (Y/N) here is quite available, and almost as fair as Jane." Mrs Bennett smiled.

You choked on your drink, managing out a strangled, "What?" at the same time as Mr Collins.

As Mr Collins tried to negotiate over Jane, you couldn't believe your ears. Not only had this complete imbecile of a man dare to insult your sisters and yourself with the mere idea that you were better suited to a kitchen, blatantly tried to pursue a taken woman, and then compared your looks to your sister's! You could barely contain your rage as Mr Collins went on to read some sermons. 

            Saved by Lydia's suggestion to walk to Meryton, you jumped at the opportunity to leave the company of your cousin. That was, until your father invited Mr Collins to tag along as well. You rolled your eyes as the man tried to flatter your looks, even after quite rudely discussing how you were almost as fair as Jane a mere half hour ago. Mr Collins even went as far as to hold your hand on multiple occasions. Of course, you shook him off. Even if he kicked you out of your home when your father passed, there was no way you would marry this man. You'd almost rather marry Mr Darcy.

You and your companions quickly noticed an upturned carriage belonging to Penny McGregor. Unfortunately, Penny was still inside, calling out desperately for Jane to come help her. 

"Poor girl." Jane muttered.

You took the pipe out of Mr Collins' mouth and threw it at the carriage. Sure enough, the lamp oil Penny had been trying to deliver caught fire, taking her along with it.

woo! that's another chapter! it was pretty short, but honestly, again, it was mostly filler. next chapter, we meet wickham! very sorry i havent actively updated in 2 years. it's crazy to think that there's still people sticking around after all this time and even some newcomers! so, in this new year and truly tough time, i hope i can make some of you smile.