Chapter 20

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I avoided the king for the next few days. I didn't know why. We had shared a rather lovely moment, even if it was awkward and I was drunk. It had been the most honest conversation we had had since I arrived and I think we really moved passed some of our barriers. I was beginning to understand his guarded approach to love and he was seeing my physical and emotional scars bit by bit. Yet I felt like I couldn't face him. I wasn't sure if it was because he had refused my advances at the end of the night or if it was because I was embarrassed by my actions through the entire evening. Maybe he thought of me more as a child then a wife now because I obviously couldn't handle myself around a little alcohol. Regardless, I stayed in my room as long as I could.

To occupy myself I asked my maids to find me a tutor in the palace and they answered my demands with a stern old man who smelt like books and tea. The first time I saw him in that grand library I fell in love with him. He was grumpy most of the time and didn't seem to think any mistake in the world was excusable. He was harsh and quick to correct. However, he was a very good teacher and he didn't step lightly around me, putting my royal status above all else. Within two sessions with him I was slowly learning how to read which, in time, would allow me to sneak books from the library and educate myself on topics that no one dared to speak about. I was tired of being in the dark, I wanted to know what my husband was hiding from me and what my maids were really gossiping about. I was going to be a real queen one day, or at least I hoped I would be, I wanted to rule kindly and fairly.

In addition to this I could hardly ever bring myself to stay away from the library after I discovered it. Back on the farm I thought I had been so lucky to have stolen my two books. But this, this was otherworldly. I suppose in comparison to the rest of the palace it was rather bland. The wooden shelving was high quality with fine craftsmanship that created wonderful details in the wood. Everything had clean, straight lines with subtle designs. But the books. My goodness there were books everywhere. All neatly placed of course, each one with a specific spot, but there must've been thousands. Sometimes I would just sit and stare, not reading, just overwhelmed by the knowledge that was surrounding me.

Five days in it seemed the king had seen enough of my antics and James informed me that if I did not attend supper I would be in trouble. Sweet James looked awfully anxious when he told me, his eyes concerned and my maids all held their breath at the demand. They all knew how head strong I could be and not a single one of them knew how that drunken night had ended. There was a softness to King Archer that they might never see. Still, I told James to let the king know that I was not interested in dining with him tonight and I felt as if I were playing a delicious game with the king's patience. James hesitated, waiting for me to change my mind, but bowed his head eventually and went to deliver my message.

"Queen Willow, perhaps you should rethink your choices." Isabelle suggested. Her voice shook with each word and she was unable to meet my eyes.

I gave out a little sigh, considering her words for a moment as I played with my blonde hair. I didn't like being the cause of anyone's stress. And maybe my denial would not end the way I intended it to.

"It's too late now, James will reach the king soon enough. I will be alright though. You don't have to worry about me. Take the rest of the night off." I suggested, then moved my eyes over Jasmine and Lydia, "All three of you should go home early tonight and have supper with your families. I can handle myself, I promise."

No one seemed to believe me, which was fair because I didn't really believe myself. But they all bowed their heads kindly and left me alone in my room within a couple minutes. At least now if it went sideways I would be the only one affected by my defiance.

I could do nothing but wait patiently for my husband to arrive and I was absolutely buzzing with anticipation. The only thing that filled my head was the sound his hand had made when it connected with my bottom and the jolt of pain and pleasure that rushed through me. Then I recalled the way his fingers had ventured towards my wetness. I stood in front of one of the large windows, watching the day wind down with my chest heaving and my mind spinning.

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